Okay, welcome to the discussion, all you brave, kind hearted souls who have chosen to read further. As some of you may already know, last week I suffered a bit of an emotional freakout, otherwise known as a wicked case of The Blah's. I thought I had recovered from them, when in very short order, I was stricken yet once more. This was becoming a pattern. Up and down, up and down. Happy, not. Happy, not. Glistening ever so slightly, sweating like a pig. You get the idea. It's been happening for awhile but lately...well, lately, it's almost gotten unbearable. I was sooooooo anxious yesterday afternoon, for no apparent reason, that I called the GYN and made an appointment. My request went something like this, "I need to see the doctor. I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing something that just isn't right. No.....this can't wait. Yes, I've seen the doctor before. No...just for a normal check-up. Yes, I'd like to see him soon. Listen, you don't understand! I can't keep doing this. I can't stand feeling like the whole world is caving in on me. I can't stand waking up at 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep, I can't stand these headaches and I can't stand one more unexplained palpitation! I NEED to see the doctor. SOON! Yes, okay, right. Tomorrow at 2:30 will be fine. Thank you so much. Sorry if I seemed a bit tense." Whew! Thank goodness they probably get a few calls like that a year or I might have been facing verbal assault charges in the near future. So anywho, I head on down to the doctor's office today. Half of me convinced I'm crazy. The other half of me not really caring if I'm crazy. Just looking for some help. Some relief. Something, anything. The doctor took me back to his office. We discussed some blood work I'd had done a few months ago. He tells me I have great numbers except for this one little part of my cholesterol figure. No big deal. We can straighten that up with some Omega 3. Yeah, sure, whatever. Let's get to the important stuff, okie dokie? I tell him what's going on. I think I may have even demonstrated my feelings with scary facial expressions because, at one point, the doctor actually kind of leaned away and looked a little leery of me. Like I'd attack the one person who could help me right now. P-u-l-l-ease. Anyway, I told him about the heachaches, the anxiety, the backaches, the insomnia, the heart palpitations, the heat that was boiling my blood every other minute of the day and night and making my skin burn. He then, ever so calmly, asked me if I knew when my older female family members had experienced menopause. I didn't. He went on to say that I was experiencing early menopause myself and he was only asking because it tends to run in families. I'm not that far ahead of schedule, though. No need to panic. Why, by golly, he's treated some women who went through it in their 30's. Huh. That's fascinating. Really. But I'm a selfish wench and, quite frankly, wasn't too interested in their sob stories just right then. Let's talk about me, shall we, Doc? Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed about that attitude now, but at the time....well, at the time, I had about a million things going through my head. My first thought was "Oh my gosh! I'll never be able to have another baby." I actually thought that. Me, mother of 4 whose ages range from 26 to 15. Like I could even face having another baby. I felt that initial reaction just proved I was a little nutty and in dire need of help. Then my second thought (and this one is my personal favorite). "I won't be a real woman anymore. No feminine side, no nothing. I'll never be the same". Okay, so drama is one of my stronger suits. Whatever. I'm just saying what I felt. Mock me if you will. Just don't mock me to my face. You're liable to get a taste of my decidedly unfeminine side when I cuss you like the sailor my uncle once was. Oops, there goes that moody thing again. Let me throttle back some and get back to the subject at hand. Anyway, to make a long painful story every bit as long and painful as it felt, the doctor and I discussed some options and have decided on a few things to help me get through this since I'm obviously not handling it as well as some have. I'm a ninny. Big deal. I'm going to take the medication as prescribed and then we'll revisit the situation in 3 months. Hopefully, things will get better. This rollercoaster ride is wearing me out. And poor Randey. What a rock! He's so sweet and so supportive. He's been taking the route of "Life's hard - wear a helmet" to get through some of the worst moments. And there's been some bad, bad moments for him to get through. Well, it's not like he's the one boiling alive from this freakin' heat while having the worst backache in the world and everything else on the planet going wrong with him...uhhhhhhh, hold it a second. I did it again, didn't I? Moody, moody, moody. Can't let it keep getting the best of me. I'm going to be one friendless, lonely, misunderstood, yet nicely medicated, individual if I can't get a hold of this soon. I think menopause is one of life's little tests to see if you and your dearly beloved are really, really, really meant to be together. And God Bless him, so far, Randey's hanging in there pretty good. What a man! I just hope I can hang in there. Right now, the score is Menopause 1, Me 0. But the game's not over yet...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
This is one of those TMI (Too Much Information) Posts but it's MY blog so I'll say what I want (but you should probably read the warning first!)
Warning! Warning! Warning! If the word "menopause" causes you discomfort, embarrassment, and/or a general feeling of unease, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER! If, however, you are human, possess even the slightest modicum of compassion and/or are, or know of, a woman of a certain age and have any desire whatsoever to develop an understanding of the level of angst, confusion and exasperation this normal condition will have on your loved one at some point in time, feel free to read on. I'm posting this random picture in order to give you an opportunity to stop reading NOW if this subject is just too much for your tender sensibilities (although please note that from this moment forward, you will forever be known as "That Cowardly Nancy-Pants of a Jerk Who Has No Feeling For Anyone Other Than His/Her Own Narcissistic Self").
Okay, welcome to the discussion, all you brave, kind hearted souls who have chosen to read further. As some of you may already know, last week I suffered a bit of an emotional freakout, otherwise known as a wicked case of The Blah's. I thought I had recovered from them, when in very short order, I was stricken yet once more. This was becoming a pattern. Up and down, up and down. Happy, not. Happy, not. Glistening ever so slightly, sweating like a pig. You get the idea. It's been happening for awhile but lately...well, lately, it's almost gotten unbearable. I was sooooooo anxious yesterday afternoon, for no apparent reason, that I called the GYN and made an appointment. My request went something like this, "I need to see the doctor. I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing something that just isn't right. No.....this can't wait. Yes, I've seen the doctor before. No...just for a normal check-up. Yes, I'd like to see him soon. Listen, you don't understand! I can't keep doing this. I can't stand feeling like the whole world is caving in on me. I can't stand waking up at 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep, I can't stand these headaches and I can't stand one more unexplained palpitation! I NEED to see the doctor. SOON! Yes, okay, right. Tomorrow at 2:30 will be fine. Thank you so much. Sorry if I seemed a bit tense." Whew! Thank goodness they probably get a few calls like that a year or I might have been facing verbal assault charges in the near future. So anywho, I head on down to the doctor's office today. Half of me convinced I'm crazy. The other half of me not really caring if I'm crazy. Just looking for some help. Some relief. Something, anything. The doctor took me back to his office. We discussed some blood work I'd had done a few months ago. He tells me I have great numbers except for this one little part of my cholesterol figure. No big deal. We can straighten that up with some Omega 3. Yeah, sure, whatever. Let's get to the important stuff, okie dokie? I tell him what's going on. I think I may have even demonstrated my feelings with scary facial expressions because, at one point, the doctor actually kind of leaned away and looked a little leery of me. Like I'd attack the one person who could help me right now. P-u-l-l-ease. Anyway, I told him about the heachaches, the anxiety, the backaches, the insomnia, the heart palpitations, the heat that was boiling my blood every other minute of the day and night and making my skin burn. He then, ever so calmly, asked me if I knew when my older female family members had experienced menopause. I didn't. He went on to say that I was experiencing early menopause myself and he was only asking because it tends to run in families. I'm not that far ahead of schedule, though. No need to panic. Why, by golly, he's treated some women who went through it in their 30's. Huh. That's fascinating. Really. But I'm a selfish wench and, quite frankly, wasn't too interested in their sob stories just right then. Let's talk about me, shall we, Doc? Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed about that attitude now, but at the time....well, at the time, I had about a million things going through my head. My first thought was "Oh my gosh! I'll never be able to have another baby." I actually thought that. Me, mother of 4 whose ages range from 26 to 15. Like I could even face having another baby. I felt that initial reaction just proved I was a little nutty and in dire need of help. Then my second thought (and this one is my personal favorite). "I won't be a real woman anymore. No feminine side, no nothing. I'll never be the same". Okay, so drama is one of my stronger suits. Whatever. I'm just saying what I felt. Mock me if you will. Just don't mock me to my face. You're liable to get a taste of my decidedly unfeminine side when I cuss you like the sailor my uncle once was. Oops, there goes that moody thing again. Let me throttle back some and get back to the subject at hand. Anyway, to make a long painful story every bit as long and painful as it felt, the doctor and I discussed some options and have decided on a few things to help me get through this since I'm obviously not handling it as well as some have. I'm a ninny. Big deal. I'm going to take the medication as prescribed and then we'll revisit the situation in 3 months. Hopefully, things will get better. This rollercoaster ride is wearing me out. And poor Randey. What a rock! He's so sweet and so supportive. He's been taking the route of "Life's hard - wear a helmet" to get through some of the worst moments. And there's been some bad, bad moments for him to get through. Well, it's not like he's the one boiling alive from this freakin' heat while having the worst backache in the world and everything else on the planet going wrong with him...uhhhhhhh, hold it a second. I did it again, didn't I? Moody, moody, moody. Can't let it keep getting the best of me. I'm going to be one friendless, lonely, misunderstood, yet nicely medicated, individual if I can't get a hold of this soon. I think menopause is one of life's little tests to see if you and your dearly beloved are really, really, really meant to be together. And God Bless him, so far, Randey's hanging in there pretty good. What a man! I just hope I can hang in there. Right now, the score is Menopause 1, Me 0. But the game's not over yet...
Okay, welcome to the discussion, all you brave, kind hearted souls who have chosen to read further. As some of you may already know, last week I suffered a bit of an emotional freakout, otherwise known as a wicked case of The Blah's. I thought I had recovered from them, when in very short order, I was stricken yet once more. This was becoming a pattern. Up and down, up and down. Happy, not. Happy, not. Glistening ever so slightly, sweating like a pig. You get the idea. It's been happening for awhile but lately...well, lately, it's almost gotten unbearable. I was sooooooo anxious yesterday afternoon, for no apparent reason, that I called the GYN and made an appointment. My request went something like this, "I need to see the doctor. I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing something that just isn't right. No.....this can't wait. Yes, I've seen the doctor before. No...just for a normal check-up. Yes, I'd like to see him soon. Listen, you don't understand! I can't keep doing this. I can't stand feeling like the whole world is caving in on me. I can't stand waking up at 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep, I can't stand these headaches and I can't stand one more unexplained palpitation! I NEED to see the doctor. SOON! Yes, okay, right. Tomorrow at 2:30 will be fine. Thank you so much. Sorry if I seemed a bit tense." Whew! Thank goodness they probably get a few calls like that a year or I might have been facing verbal assault charges in the near future. So anywho, I head on down to the doctor's office today. Half of me convinced I'm crazy. The other half of me not really caring if I'm crazy. Just looking for some help. Some relief. Something, anything. The doctor took me back to his office. We discussed some blood work I'd had done a few months ago. He tells me I have great numbers except for this one little part of my cholesterol figure. No big deal. We can straighten that up with some Omega 3. Yeah, sure, whatever. Let's get to the important stuff, okie dokie? I tell him what's going on. I think I may have even demonstrated my feelings with scary facial expressions because, at one point, the doctor actually kind of leaned away and looked a little leery of me. Like I'd attack the one person who could help me right now. P-u-l-l-ease. Anyway, I told him about the heachaches, the anxiety, the backaches, the insomnia, the heart palpitations, the heat that was boiling my blood every other minute of the day and night and making my skin burn. He then, ever so calmly, asked me if I knew when my older female family members had experienced menopause. I didn't. He went on to say that I was experiencing early menopause myself and he was only asking because it tends to run in families. I'm not that far ahead of schedule, though. No need to panic. Why, by golly, he's treated some women who went through it in their 30's. Huh. That's fascinating. Really. But I'm a selfish wench and, quite frankly, wasn't too interested in their sob stories just right then. Let's talk about me, shall we, Doc? Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed about that attitude now, but at the time....well, at the time, I had about a million things going through my head. My first thought was "Oh my gosh! I'll never be able to have another baby." I actually thought that. Me, mother of 4 whose ages range from 26 to 15. Like I could even face having another baby. I felt that initial reaction just proved I was a little nutty and in dire need of help. Then my second thought (and this one is my personal favorite). "I won't be a real woman anymore. No feminine side, no nothing. I'll never be the same". Okay, so drama is one of my stronger suits. Whatever. I'm just saying what I felt. Mock me if you will. Just don't mock me to my face. You're liable to get a taste of my decidedly unfeminine side when I cuss you like the sailor my uncle once was. Oops, there goes that moody thing again. Let me throttle back some and get back to the subject at hand. Anyway, to make a long painful story every bit as long and painful as it felt, the doctor and I discussed some options and have decided on a few things to help me get through this since I'm obviously not handling it as well as some have. I'm a ninny. Big deal. I'm going to take the medication as prescribed and then we'll revisit the situation in 3 months. Hopefully, things will get better. This rollercoaster ride is wearing me out. And poor Randey. What a rock! He's so sweet and so supportive. He's been taking the route of "Life's hard - wear a helmet" to get through some of the worst moments. And there's been some bad, bad moments for him to get through. Well, it's not like he's the one boiling alive from this freakin' heat while having the worst backache in the world and everything else on the planet going wrong with him...uhhhhhhh, hold it a second. I did it again, didn't I? Moody, moody, moody. Can't let it keep getting the best of me. I'm going to be one friendless, lonely, misunderstood, yet nicely medicated, individual if I can't get a hold of this soon. I think menopause is one of life's little tests to see if you and your dearly beloved are really, really, really meant to be together. And God Bless him, so far, Randey's hanging in there pretty good. What a man! I just hope I can hang in there. Right now, the score is Menopause 1, Me 0. But the game's not over yet...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
ok - I read past the big sunsetty picture thing with the angry red sky and can I just say I agree with everything everything everything that followed - and i am in there with you - with the big black angry moods. I am not doing so well - I'd say it was menopause 5 Me 0 at the moment. But I havn't gone to the doctor with it. and I have no idea why not. I think I would probably attack him if he wasn't nice. hang on in there - does chocolate help?
ReplyDeleteHi Kari - what a day to discover your blog!! Not sure what serendipitous path got me here but it was obviously meant to be!! I relate - totally. Thought I was losing it and it has been such a relief to have it "sorted" via a simple low dose patch which needless to say I'll only be maintaining for as short a time as possible (read "needed"). The last 9 months have been such an "improvement" on the previous 9!! What on earth made me take so long to work out this was not acceptable????? All th ebest and I love the way you write - you also made me really laugh!!
ReplyDeleteYou know, one day when I was 38 I woke up and wondered if I had wet the bed...the sheets were wringing wet and so was I. Oddly enough I was freezing. That was my introduction to menopause. I was lucky though, it wasn't a long drawn out affair, I just simply went straight out of my mind with out passing go and collected no $200. I'm with ya kid, soon you'll be wanting to know where to bury the bodies and I have a map
ReplyDeletelove ya
Aunt Sandi
ps
that word verification thing is getting longer and flashing messages...is it supposed to do that? opps, never mind...
In a few more years I will going through this. Now, how about PMS, I can talk about it, LOL
ReplyDeleteLots of my love in your way and hoping you keep writing with this style.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I wanted to tell you Thank you and let you know that I'd kill for some leopard print glasses!!! I'm ding the hot-flash thing here and I'm my own personal barbeque or s'more maker.. I'm going for s'mores.. there is chocolate involved!
ReplyDeleteSissy woman. Now is the time you become a woman. Seems people will now stumble over saying okay girl,Or young lady. But from a woman who has been here awhile. If you get through the first year, you will discover all kinds of good benefits from this thing?? That attacks ,I hate to tell you all, every redblooded woman. You have a really good excuse for just about anything you want to use it for. Most of the time you will be right on, but there are those times to kind of fudge a little. Did I say "fudge".Talk later, Just got an urge. Doggone menopause.Hee Hee. donna
ReplyDeleteMe again Kari - I can't email you to reply to your comment on my blog (thanks too for stopping by, that was really nice) but ATC stands for Artist Trading Card (what we handmaders do instead of trading baseball cards!!) PS I reckon your new hairstyle is really cool. Cheers, Debbi (ps deb is my word verification!! )
ReplyDeleteHi Keri,
ReplyDeleteYou should be congratulated on being open enough to discuss what is happening to you. I think we need to demistify the menopause if we are ever to be able to offer our mothers, sisters, wives the support they need whilst they go through it.
I do not have anything else to offer I am afraid - I was a remote witness to my mom going through this - the menopause was medically induced in her and went on for a very long time before the process was rather abruptly terminated when she had to have a hysterectomy.
Come to think of it, she is the first and thus far only woman I have ever met who was actually happy to have a hysterectomy... I had more trouble with her going through this procedure than she did.
All I can say is that we are here to support you and will stick around no matter how unpleasant it gets.
Oh.My.Word! We need to talk. I've been blogging about this very thing off and on now for awhile. It's crazy. Or I'm crazy. Not sure which. Great post! Very funny! I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing (through tears and sweating) with you!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Kat
Kari
ReplyDeleteI left you a comment earlier, but I don't see it?? Anyway, loved this post. Very funny! And so accurate. I've been posting about this very same thing off and on for a few weeks now. I linked to this post of yours on my blog today.
Hugs!
Kat
Found you through JustaBeachKat and have to say I LOVED YOUR POST today. I too am going through early menopause and was just about to write about it on my blog as well. I was checking out some of my favorite blogs and linked to yours and I don't think I could have written it any better myself. I had a horrible day yesterday but woke up refreshed and NEW this morning ~ I'm sure that will change any minute now.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and know that you aren't alone!hehehe.
I popped over from Kat's blog to read about my future :o)...
ReplyDeleteWish I could say it sounds fun, but it doesn't. I hope the medication gets everything evened out for you.
Hi Kari, I found your blog through Justabeachkat. I too went through menopause and it started when I was 49 - 50 years old. I was out of my mind and couldn't sleep which only made it worse. I took hormone replacement therapy which helped me but then I ended up with breast cancer which was hormonally fed. In retrospect, I wish I had studied nutrition to see if what I was eating was causing my reaction to be more than most people.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well and hope that you can get some relief because it is no fun!