Friday, July 20, 2007

And the hits just keep coming...

I would so very much love to follow up my menopause post with something witty, amusing and deeply insightful. But....that's not gonna happen. I got nothing for 'ya. Today will be the 4th day of my HRT. And you know what? Let's just clear this up right now. I know what HRT is supposed to stand for (Hormone Replacement Therapy). That's what they all say anyway. That's actually a great, big, fat lie. It's somebody's idea of a joke - a really bad, bad joke. Through my four days of first hand research, I've discovered that HRT actually stands for Heat Rants and Tears. It's about time someone was honest about this. There IS no mistake. Just to prove it, I've managed to cover all 3 initials this morning alone. Actually, I did it in record time...I woke up, wallering in the HEAT that is taking over my whole entire life, then I followed up with a RANT to a company I'm having an e-mail war with and ended with TEARS because my son's been delayed a day, this company I'm fighting with via e-mail is getting on my absolute last freakin' nerve, my back is killing me - right between my shoulder blades - and Randey called in the middle of it all and said he'd take me to Barnes and Noble at midnight tonight so I could get the Harry Potter book the second it's released. How sweet is that? Randey, I mean. The rest of it? Not so much. I thought these stupid pills were supposed to help???? I know I'm a little off right now, but I could have sworn that doctor said they'd help with the hot flashes right away. Oh and hey, that's another thing. Flashes? What flashes? Does a tidal wave of heat that rolls over my body and takes up residence from my chest to my head really count as a "flash"? In what universe is constant boiling heat considered a flash? I'm thinking a "flash" is more like..."now you see it, now you don't" kind of quick. Not "oh great here comes another wave - let's hope this one doesn't last the next 6 hours like the last one did".
I think I liked it better before the doctor told me what was going on. At least when I thought I was plain ol' crazy, I felt compelled to try and hide it. Now I'm just angry. I'm angry that this is happening and I'm angry that, in this day and age, they haven't come up with something to make it all better...NOW. Is this normal, people? Aren't these pills supposed to work right away? Is that too much to ask? Anybody else experienced this? And hey, here's a question...when I thought I was just crazy, I was so much more tolerant of the heat. Why is it different now? Does my subconscious think that being menopausal is an excuse for being a terror? Surely not. I think I'm just...scared, worried, panicky...wondering (hoping?) if the doctor didn't misdiagnose me and really, rather than going through menopause, I'm really either crazy or maybe even dying from some dreaded disease that's causing me to cook from the inside out. (Yeah - that dang Drama Queen persona rears her ugly head again!) Most of all, though, I'm wondering if I should even be on HRT. Is 4 days too soon to decide? Should I be noticing a change or am I supposed to give it a week or so? Does anybody know? I think this is the worst part of all. Not knowing if what is going on is normal. Did I expect too much from the HRT right away? Should I go slap the living tar out of my doctor for making me think it WOULD make a difference so soon? Or should I just hang in there, STOP RANTING IN MY BLOG, and just wait for these pills to start their magic? Hello? Anybody?

I swear...crazy is just EASIER...


  1. Oh Girl...until this stops, we'll just have to find something, anything to make us laugh. Hang in there.



  2. Oh poor you!! Sounds bloody awful!! Still at least you have a lovely hubbie who's taking you to get the latest H.P!! I am too lazy-mine is being Amazoned to me in the morning!! Guess what we'll be doing tomorrow.....

  3. Kari...I think...some wine...or WHINE...(which believe me helps...ask my hubbin) and maybe some Dean Martin playing in the background...could help...I know your pain...I had the hot flashes for a while...but they seem (treading lightly with that) to have subsided...however, I am having the back pain and no sleep syndrom now...I take no HRT as of yet...but I do have an occasional Xanax (some folks call these "nerve" pills...uh huh...I take them when others are getting on MY nerves!)..that seems to help w/the freak outs/panic attacks...I believe in better living through whatever means!!...and if that is an occasional "nerve" pill (ha) then I'm game! I had to have my colonscopy (now there's something most folks don't like to admit) the other day AND was actually looking forward to it...b/c I was told I would have medication that would make me sleep...I SO wanted to sleep that I was willing to expose my bum to many....not to mention all the other lovely things that come along with the name of that is just sick...or desperate...but I do know your pain...maybe our hubbins should start blogging so they can commesertate together.

    Hang in there...I guess if it makes us all feel better...we know we aren't alone in this topsy turvy world of life after a "certain age"!

    Oh by the way...not only am I sharing the menopause thing w/millions...I now know I need more FIBER...well...isn't that just peachy! I think I'm going to physically attack the next person to tell me..."WELL...that's common with people your AGE!"...ok what does THAT mean??? Really...ok...sorry...I've got to stop...I'm about to reach my breaking point.


  4. You know, being that you are my niece and I love you I should probably send you an e-mail, but since so many other smart women read your blog I just want to say this...please, consult another doctor about Hormone therapy. It can be dangerous. I don't want to say something sappy like you'll get thru this, pull up your socks and get on with it...but I think you need to hear it, Babygirl. So many women before you have suffered through this (and yes, they by God suffered through it taking the men in their lives along for the ride...and it wasn't no corvette they rode in, either.) I never heard my mother raise her voice til she went through menopause and her favorite phrase became "I'll slap the taste out of your mouth". She never did it, but you knew she was capable of doing it. Then one day, she was Mama again. She stopped yelling and threatening everyone around her. We all stopped cringing when she entered the room. When I started the hot flashes and night sweats and hating anyone with a penis, I asked her if she had undergone HRT and she said she had thought about it, but figured it was just putting off the inevitable so why bother. You know we lost Mama to Ovarian Cancer when she was 79. Had she taken the HRT it may have been so much take care, think about your decision and consult a specialist in the field. I love you. Aunt Sandi


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