Stupid Is as Stupid Does

Have you ever done something so dumb you amaze yourself? It actually happens to me more often than I care to admit. The other day, I proved yet once more just how big of a doofus I can be when given the right circumstances. It was the day we left for Florida. I was up at 5:00 a.m., getting ready, finishing up the packing (which Randey was totally rushing me through!), trying to do something with my hair so I didn't look like a raving lunatic all day, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. Right before I went to slap some make-up on, I decided to change out my contacts. I use the extended wear kind and, quite frankly, I knew I'd left this last pair in too long. I did the left eye first (I'm a lefty. That's how I roll.) No problem. Wrestled with the new contact packaging for my right eye (don't know why it gave me such problems but I blame it for the temporary loss of sanity that ensued). I popped that right contact in and wham! the room started tilting a bit. Oh my gosh!!! I did leave that other set in too long! I was now legally blind in my right eye. I probably blew a retina or something. Maybe was even suffering from the dreaded Eyeball Expulsion Syndrome at that very moment! Oh the panic. How would I function? Would Randey start dressing me funny now that I couldn't see properly? What about my children? My grandchildren?? I'd never see them grow up! And the pain!! Heaven help me, but the pain was....wait a minute. There was no pain. There was nothing really. What the heck? Why was my vision so screwy in my right eye and why wasn't I laid out with the sheer agony of losing my eyesight? Because, Kari, you big dork. You forgot to take your old contact out before you put your new one in. **Sigh** The saddest part was, it's not like it's the first time I've ever done it. I just hadn't done it in awhile so it sort of took me by surprise. Really brought out the hypochondriac in me, too. Geez. Okay, so I calmed down and tried to remove the contacts. No go. Those puppies were stuck together like glue. I tried for what felt like forever before I finally had to go get Randey and admit what I had done. He had the nerve to laugh. A bit. I, of course, immediately let him know the seriousness of the matter and how insensitive and rude he was to not recognize that. In other words, I was an ass about it. It took a bit of wrangling, but with him shining a flashlight directly in my eye and me practically pressing my eyeball onto the bathroom mirror, we finally got the contacts out. Threw the old one away, put the new one back in and viola', I could see, I could see! Yeah. Like I said...stupid is as stupid does. And that day, I exceeded my stupid limit by leaps and bounds.