Please, Let Me Explain!

I have a huge mea culpa to issue here. It's regarding my review of the movie Tropic Thunder. I enjoyed the movie - thought it had a lot to recommend it. That part is fine and I, of course, stand by my right to express that opinion. However, (and this is a BIG however) I was insensitive in the extreme to a certain aspect of our society. When I said "if you're easily offended, skip it", I carelessly trivialized the feelings of people who either are or know someone who is mentally handicapped or disabled. God help me, I don't even know the proper term or if there is one. Please, if I've said the wrong thing, correct me. I'm willing and able to learn from my mistakes. Like now. With that "easily offended" statement. I received this comment from my good blogging friend, Michelle @ Big Blueberry Eyes. It was an eye opener for me, to say the least.

I guess you can count me among those easily offended :) I admit I haven't seen the movie, but that scene between Stiller and Downey Jr talking about why Stiller didn't win an Oscar playing Simple Jack? That scene offends me. In particular Downey Jr's character saying "you went full r*tard. You never go full r*tard" offends me. That phrase is already on shirts being sold online, kids will probably be wearing it in school, and I dread the day Kayla will have to see something like that. I've heard Stiller's response that it wasn't meant to offend, it was a satire poking fun of Hollywood and other actors etc, and taken in the context of the movie it's supposed to be funny. Regardless of what the context is, and that it was supposed to be funny, it just isn't - at least not for me. Ditto with the scene between Stiller and his agent talking about Stiller's plan to adopt. His agent saying "at least you get to chose your son" and then showing a picture of him with his son who appears to have a disability.
Anyway, just my opinion coming from a different point of view of why it offends me :) Hope you don't mind my long comment in response!

I truly did not mean to minimize or dismiss anyone's feelings over this movie. But I did. The truth is, the movie contains offensive language and references to mentally disabled people. That is a fact that I cannot deny. As Stiller said, I don't believe the makers of the movie specifically set out to make fun of mentally disabled people, rather I think the purpose was to show the ridiculous lengths Hollywood and, more pointedly, actors go to for their "art". This is something I agree with so whole heartedly, that I lost sight of the hurt those particular scenes could cause the innocents in our society who least deserve to be subjected to that sort of pain. I mean heck, I was laughing my butt off during most of the movie and, while I found the parts referring to the mentally handicapped to be in poor taste, I took them as a poke at Hollywood, not a poke at the disabled so I skipped right over them in my review of the movie. And honestly, I didn't understand the reference about the agent's kid when he told Stiller "at least you get to pick yours". They just showed a picture of a kid, a kid who looked like a million other kids out there. (Which may show that not only am I insensitive, I'm dense as well.) But the point is, it was real easy for me to laugh at certain things and dismiss others because I haven't had to endure the agony of knowing a loved one who is living with the realities of a handicap. Michelle, Joe and Kayla, if I live to be a hundred years old and apologize to you all every hour on the hour, I will never come close to expressing exactly how bad I feel for my total and complete lack of empathy for your feelings. I still think the movie, apart from the horribly unnecessary language regarding the handicapped, was funny, but (A), it would have been immeasurably funnier without those parts and (B) I never, ever should have even thought, much less said, "easily offended" in reference to anyone's feelings. It belittled what is obviously a very real and true emotion and one that, as a person who hasn't lived with this reality, I could never have any true grasp of understanding. If I had to do it all over again, and knowing what I know now, I believe I'd skip that movie. Sure, parts of it were hysterically funny. But 2 hours of laughter just doesn't measure up to the thought of hurting your feelings and I ache with every fiber of my being just thinking of little Kayla having her feelings hurt by this. I promise you now that I will work towards improving my empathy and sympathy and will be much more mindful of these things in the future. Thank you for your very kind and gentle reminder to me that there's a difference between being "politically incorrect" and being just plain wrong. I hope you'll forgive me my ignorance.



One other thing, today is my oldest son's 28th birthday. Happy Birthday, Nick! Sure wish I could talk to you and I hope you can at least read your birthday greetings. I miss you like crazy and think of you every moment of the day. You're my baby, my "Elvis", my pride and my joy. I love you, son.

P.S. Look one post down for the Weigh Out of Fat Recipes