Wednesday, April 9, 2008

American Idol Picks and "What's in a Name?"

I was fairly unimpressed with American Idol last night. Nobody really blew me away but nobody really turned my stomach either. All in all, it was pretty darn boring. In fact, just about the only person that stood out in any way was David Cook, and that was only because I seriously did not care for his song. Yes, my favorite of this year picked a song that left me with my eyes crossed and my ears hurting. Oh well. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or would have been too much to ask for me to love every performance from him, right? Anyway, I'll only pick 2 for the bottom this week since we're down to what? 8 idols now? I say that Syesha and Brooke will be in the hotseat(s). Shame, too...I really like that Brooke. She moves like my granddaughter. That is to say, she lacks somewhat in rhythm. lol
Moving on to another subject. I recently bought a personalized stamp to use with my scrapbooking. This stamp is so cool. I got it so I can stamp the back pages of these little albums I've been making. I promised my daughter-in-law, Jodie, that I would post a picture of the stamp so she could see it. I'm a little slow in getting that done (sorry Jodie!), but here it is: I first saw a stamp like this when I received my beautiful and fun Christmas card from Terri. She has one with her address on it, if I remember correctly. Anyway, I was quite enamored of it and decided I had to have one. Then I got caught up in this, that and the other and forgot about it. A couple of weeks ago, I was browsing through a scrapbook magazine and saw an ad for these stamps. I got online and ordered one. (For anyone interested in ordering one, go here). I think with shipping and handling and tax, I paid a little under $40 for mine. By the way, it shipped a whole lot sooner than the website indicated it would. I think it actually took about 10 or 11 days after I ordered it for it to arrive via UPS. Anywho, when I went to order my stamp, I was undecided about how to do my name. I know, I know. It would seem to be a no-brainer. I mean geez, your name is your name, right? Well, that's kind of the thing. When I got married, I had to change my name. I guess I didn't have to, but it was the socially acceptable thing to do. Still is, as a matter of fact. A man and a woman get married and the woman loses her name - the one she's grown up with - and replaces it with her husband's. Why is that? Why does my name matter less than my husband's? Why must I change my name to his? Don't get me wrong. I love my husband and he's got a perfectly wonderful last name. But so did I, before I got married. But now my name is his name and I'm left wondering if that means I'm a little less important. This is not a new thing for me...I've long wondered about this. I'm a big believer in equal rights for women. Sounds kind of funny coming from a housewife, eh? But before you start rolling your eyes and envisioning me hosting a bra burning rally in my backyard, let me clarify. I think men have certain capabilities that a woman simply cannot match. I also believe that women have certain capabilities that a man cannot match. Niether case means one sex is more dominate than the other. To advocate equal rights between men and women is not to say that men and women have equal strengths (or weaknesses). It's saying that they should have equal rights to express their strengths and to have those strengths appreciated based on performance and capabilities rather than their sex. You know, many years ago, I made a conscience decision to stay home and raise my children when I could do so. I worked when I had to, but when given the choice, I stayed home. I did that for many reasons...Randey had much more of a career than I did (and that was thanks more to my poor choices as a teenager versus his good choices, than anything else), and was therefore capable of making more money for our family. I was more the teacher as well as the disciplinarian in our family (Randey was generally more apt to turn a blind eye to things) so my mindset was more geared towards the responsibility of raising children than perhaps Randey's was. For those and many, many more reasons, staying at home and raising our children was the career choice for me. Of course, now that the kids are just about raised, I'm left with outdated job skills and a fairly old fashioned looking resume' so my choices when it comes to re-entering the job market are somewhat limited, but that's for another post. The point I'm making here is that while I stayed home in what would be considered the more traditional role for women, it wasn't for that reason. I stayed home because that was what made the most sense for our family. Had I gone to college and had a career path in motion at the time Randey and I had gotten married, things might have gone differently. He may have been the one staying home with the kids while I went out and made the bread money. That's kind of the beauty of how far we, as women, have come in our society. We now have choices and aren't limited by ridiculous concepts of what we can and cannot do. So where does all this tie into the name thing? Because the "name thing" just illustrates for me, personally, how much further we have to go still. A woman shouldn't have to alter her identity when she gets married. It shouldn't be expected that a woman will change her name to match her husband's. It should be a choice. My choice is to compromise. I've taken my maiden name and added it to my last name. It's the best solution that I can think of to retain my identity without rejecting my husband's. And now if I could just get him to accept my maiden name, too....
P.S. I've been a bad, bad blogger lately but am hoping to start visiting all your blogs again soon. I have to take care of some business that I have ignored for far too long, but once that's done, I should be back to full blogging strength.


  1. Hi Kari!
    I love your stamp...
    and agree with you about AI.

  2. Crap, there was so much wrong with that comment that I wanted to slap myself...letters left out of words well you get the point...I want that stamp...well, not that one but one with my hyphenated name on it...Mrs Steed-Hayes. Sounds quite elegant. My Dad was always quick to point out that in his country the chilren always take the mother's last name...and wonders why we find it necessary to have the boys last name be McBride. As for the idol...hmph...yes boring...tho Kristie Lee Cook did make me stop and listen...David (Cook), please don't do that again...awful! Tho I doubt it hurts his standing at all...but I'm afraid Syesha and Brooke are the ones who will be sitting it out on Thursday night...tonight is the charity event thingy...glad you popped in,
    love ya
    Aunt Sandi

  3. Oh I loved this post. Why? Because I chose a family name after my divorce and now I don't have either my maiden name nor my married name. LOVE IT! :P If I should ever marry again, I won't be taking a new name. Gosh, I sound radical!

    As per usual, I know nothing about the rest of your rant. ;>

    So glad that you're back from the dark side. (I didn't say that; you did!) I miss ya when you're gone.

  4. Girl.. I hear you. I feel like I can't take anymore.
    They made the arrest today we have been waiting on. My shoulders feel like im carrying a load of metal.
    Glad to hear from you girl. I really miss you!

  5. Hello Darlin'! I liked my last name too. And I do what you do, I sign First name, maiden name, his Last name, Smiley face. You do sign with a smiley, don't you?

    Girl, I don't want to be equal with hubby (*jumps behind tree to take cover*) Wait! Before you shoot me! (*waves white hanky from stick, still behind tree*). I'm basically Lazy and I don't want all the financial responsibilities that Hubby has taken on with a Stay at home Wife and family. If he is willing to take care of all of us, so that I can take care of all of them in my fashion (what do I do exactly?) I'll take his name and go so far as to sign Mrs. Bryan T. if need be. I am almost the opposite of a feminist at times. Stop cocking that darn gun! Let me finish. I do believe that if a gal is as qualified to do a job as a guy, she should make the same bucks and have the same opportunities. I think we should each be able to choose and pursue our own life styles. But it is best for me, AND MY CHILDREN, to be at home with them.


    Now, question: Did you find that in your school age child mommy years, that you were asked to do a BUNCH because you were at home and "obviously you have time" ? Geez Louise, I got this going times three here lately. And all at once. Going to be a bumpy ride til school lets out.

    Be blessed Kari!


  6. The stamp is fab! Over here quite a lot of women that I know still use their maiden names even though they are married - particularly those who are doctors etc. I used my maiden name for quite some time after I was married (after all, Mrs S. was his MOTHER & I didn't want to be her!)but after a few years & we had children it was easier to use the same name. I am also a SAHM from choice, not from being an old fashioned woman!

  7. I just LOVE that stamp, and I may seriously have to go order me one!

    I use my maiden and last name together on anything "professional." Anything I write is labeled by Cheryl Sloan Wray. :-)

    I also LOVE David Cook, but his choice Monday night was pretty atrocious!! i'm sure he'll be much better next week!


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