Moving on to another subject. I recently bought a personalized stamp to use with my scrapbooking. This stamp is so cool. I got it so I can stamp the back pages of these little albums I've been making. I promised my daughter-in-law, Jodie, that I would post a picture of the stamp so she could see it. I'm a little slow in getting that done (sorry Jodie!), but here it is:
I first saw a stamp like this when I received my beautiful and fun Christmas card from Terri. She has one with her address on it, if I remember correctly. Anyway, I was quite enamored of it and decided I had to have one. Then I got caught up in this, that and the other and forgot about it. A couple of weeks ago, I was browsing through a scrapbook magazine and saw an ad for these stamps. I got online and ordered one. (For anyone interested in ordering one, go here). I think with shipping and handling and tax, I paid a little under $40 for mine. By the way, it shipped a whole lot sooner than the website indicated it would. I think it actually took about 10 or 11 days after I ordered it for it to arrive via UPS. Anywho, when I went to order my stamp, I was undecided about how to do my name. I know, I know. It would seem to be a no-brainer. I mean geez, your name is your name, right? Well, that's kind of the thing. When I got married, I had to change my name. I guess I didn't have to, but it was the socially acceptable thing to do. Still is, as a matter of fact. A man and a woman get married and the woman loses her name - the one she's grown up with - and replaces it with her husband's. Why is that? Why does my name matter less than my husband's? Why must I change my name to his? Don't get me wrong. I love my husband and he's got a perfectly wonderful last name. But so did I, before I got married. But now my name is his name and I'm left wondering if that means I'm a little less important. This is not a new thing for me...I've long wondered about this. I'm a big believer in equal rights for women. Sounds kind of funny coming from a housewife, eh? But before you start rolling your eyes and envisioning me hosting a bra burning rally in my backyard, let me clarify. I think men have certain capabilities that a woman simply cannot match. I also believe that women have certain capabilities that a man cannot match. Niether case means one sex is more dominate than the other. To advocate equal rights between men and women is not to say that men and women have equal strengths (or weaknesses). It's saying that they should have equal rights to express their strengths and to have those strengths appreciated based on performance and capabilities rather than their sex. You know, many years ago, I made a conscience decision to stay home and raise my children when I could do so. I worked when I had to, but when given the choice, I stayed home. I did that for many reasons...Randey had much more of a career than I did (and that was thanks more to my poor choices as a teenager versus his good choices, than anything else), and was therefore capable of making more money for our family. I was more the teacher as well as the disciplinarian in our family (Randey was generally more apt to turn a blind eye to things) so my mindset was more geared towards the responsibility of raising children than perhaps Randey's was. For those and many, many more reasons, staying at home and raising our children was the career choice for me. Of course, now that the kids are just about raised, I'm left with outdated job skills and a fairly old fashioned looking resume' so my choices when it comes to re-entering the job market are somewhat limited, but that's for another post. The point I'm making here is that while I stayed home in what would be considered the more traditional role for women, it wasn't for that reason. I stayed home because that was what made the most sense for our family. Had I gone to college and had a career path in motion at the time Randey and I had gotten married, things might have gone differently. He may have been the one staying home with the kids while I went out and made the bread money. That's kind of the beauty of how far we, as women, have come in our society. We now have choices and aren't limited by ridiculous concepts of what we can and cannot do. So where does all this tie into the name thing? Because the "name thing" just illustrates for me, personally, how much further we have to go still. A woman shouldn't have to alter her identity when she gets married. It shouldn't be expected that a woman will change her name to match her husband's. It should be a choice. My choice is to compromise. I've taken my maiden name and added it to my last name. It's the best solution that I can think of to retain my identity without rejecting my husband's. And now if I could just get him to accept my maiden name, too....
P.S. I've been a bad, bad blogger lately but am hoping to start visiting all your blogs again soon. I have to take care of some business that I have ignored for far too long, but once that's done, I should be back to full blogging strength.
