And This is Exactly Why I Hate Going to the Doctor...

My regular gynecologist has retired. Just when I was getting used to him, too. Okay, so I wasn't really getting used to him, but I was at least getting a tad bit more comfortable with him. And the jerk up and retired. Geez. Well, a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do. So this woman found a new doctor. I had to, you know. My HRT prescription was up and I needed a check up and, hopefully, a refill. How'd it go, you ask? Let's just say....I ain't happy. At all. Not in the least little, bitty bit. First of all, this new doctor looks like he's about, oh I don't know...12 years old. Second of all, I'm almost certain that he has never actually dealt with menopause. In fact, I'm thinking the majority of his experience (such as it is) must be on the OB side of OB/GYN. I'm further thinking that what little information he has gleaned regarding menopause, was taught to him by an institution that specialized in the "Women Should Be Seen and Not Heard" way of thinking. I say this because, while I know that this guy saw me, I can just about guarantee that he damn well didn't hear me. He asked me a bunch of questions, sure. But I feel like he only heard what he wanted to hear. Let me just list the issues I told him were affecting me...

• indigestion
• trouble sleeping, waking in the middle of the night for no reason
• weight gain
• back ache
• breast tenderness
• irritability
• irregular heart beat
• headaches
• tingling in my fingertips
• hot flashes
• sudden fatigue
• bloated feeling

And his diagnosis? Why it's obvious, of course...I'm suffering from.........depression. I'm not going through menopause. No, no, no. I'm more than likely just depressed. Depressed? Are you freakin' kidding me???? You probably could have parked a '57 Chevy in my mouth when he said that because I know it was hanging wide open at that point. I'm depressed and not menopausal? Well...yippee! Except... I believe I've mentioned in my blog before that I've actually suffered from depression in the past (The '90's were kind of rough in places!). And while I've been feeling a little tense, a little teary eyed, a little tired...I have not been feeling depressed. But. He's the doctor, right? So I listened to what he had to say. He thinks that, at age 44, I'm simply too young to be menopausal. (I should be flattered that someone thinks I'm too young for anything, huh?). And that was pretty much his only argument for my not being menopausal. His arguments for my being depressed instead? Well let's see...I'm tired a lot. Boy, he's got me there. But I figured it was because I was waking up at 3:00 in the morning 3 and 4 times a week. But alas, he feels the sleeping issues are an indication of depression, as well, although I guess that waking up feeling like I'm being roasted alive is mainly due to my being nutso because that doesn't really fit into the "depressed" mold he was trying to build. Oh and my weight gain. Well, first of all, according to Doctor Twelve-Year-Old, I haven't gained much weight in the past 10 months. I've only packed on around 15 pounds. Big deal. And it's probably because I'm over-eating because I'm depressed. Huh. So the fact that I changed my eating habits - started eating 5 small meals a day, stopped snacking late at night, gave up the 2 liter bottle of coke I was drinking every day - and I didn't lose an ounce, wasn't relevant. Repeat after me...I'm overeating because I'm depressed. Denial of that fact is, apparently, futile. I mean I've said it over and over and over again to myself and I still don't buy it, but the doc says it's true so it must be, right? Okay. Anything else, I ask? Well, I probably should be off the Hormone Replacement Therapy and on birth control pills instead. And why is that, Doc? To regulate my cycles, of course. Oh. You mean the cycles that are practically non-existent now and, while not exactly regular, consist more of "spotting" than anything else? Yeah, those cycles. You see, the birth control bills contain more hormones so I'll be better off taking them. What? Okay, I'll be honest...at this point, I knew that he and I were not going to be friends. It seemed that he was trying to fit my symptoms to meet his diagnoses rather than trying to diagnose me based on my symptoms. The indigestion, the breast tenderness, the hot flashes, the tingling, the headaches, the irregular heartbeat? He completely ignored those symptoms. The fact that my blood pressure was higher than normal? That didn't concern him either. My BP was 152/92. The nurse seemed concerned. The doctor? Not so much. Oh and, while I'm so obviously depressed, I'm not depressed enough to be medicated just yet. No, no. Let's just wait until December, shall we? In the meantime, I should keep taking the Crestor for my cholesterol (which hasn't been checked in almost a year). And when I run out of my HRT in a couple of weeks, well...I'm just out of them. Period. We'll talk birth control pills in December. So. How do I really feel about the new doctor, you may very well ask? I feel like he should carry his *ss on back to medical school and take the course that has to do with "not all women are depressed when they say they're tired and not sleeping well". I feel like he should also have to take a "comprehension" exam to see just exactly how well he listens. And once he receives his failing grade from that exam, I think he should sign up for yet one more much-needed class at an accredited medical school of his choice. And then maybe he should look into finding an experienced partner to open up an OB/GYN practice with because, quite frankly, I don't actually see him making it on his own. I will begin my search for a new doctor post haste. (Oh and just to show how vindictive I can truly be...I hope this quack packs on about 15 pounds in the next 10 months so that I can stop by his office (asuming he still has one!) sometime next August maybe and ask him..."What's the matter? Feeling depressed, Doc?".