Monday, October 22, 2007

And This is Exactly Why I Hate Going to the Doctor...

My regular gynecologist has retired. Just when I was getting used to him, too. Okay, so I wasn't really getting used to him, but I was at least getting a tad bit more comfortable with him. And the jerk up and retired. Geez. Well, a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do. So this woman found a new doctor. I had to, you know. My HRT prescription was up and I needed a check up and, hopefully, a refill. How'd it go, you ask? Let's just say....I ain't happy. At all. Not in the least little, bitty bit. First of all, this new doctor looks like he's about, oh I don't know...12 years old. Second of all, I'm almost certain that he has never actually dealt with menopause. In fact, I'm thinking the majority of his experience (such as it is) must be on the OB side of OB/GYN. I'm further thinking that what little information he has gleaned regarding menopause, was taught to him by an institution that specialized in the "Women Should Be Seen and Not Heard" way of thinking. I say this because, while I know that this guy saw me, I can just about guarantee that he damn well didn't hear me. He asked me a bunch of questions, sure. But I feel like he only heard what he wanted to hear. Let me just list the issues I told him were affecting me...
  • indigestion
  • trouble sleeping, waking in the middle of the night for no reason
  • weight gain
  • back ache
  • breast tenderness
  • irritability
  • irregular heart beat
  • headaches
  • tingling in my fingertips
  • hot flashes
  • sudden fatigue
  • bloated feeling
And his diagnosis? Why it's obvious, of course...I'm suffering from.........depression. I'm not going through menopause. No, no, no. I'm more than likely just depressed. Depressed? Are you freakin' kidding me???? You probably could have parked a '57 Chevy in my mouth when he said that because I know it was hanging wide open at that point. I'm depressed and not menopausal? Well...yippee! Except... I believe I've mentioned in my blog before that I've actually suffered from depression in the past (The '90's were kind of rough in places!). And while I've been feeling a little tense, a little teary eyed, a little tired...I have not been feeling depressed. But. He's the doctor, right? So I listened to what he had to say. He thinks that, at age 44, I'm simply too young to be menopausal. (I should be flattered that someone thinks I'm too young for anything, huh?). And that was pretty much his only argument for my not being menopausal. His arguments for my being depressed instead? Well let's see...I'm tired a lot. Boy, he's got me there. But I figured it was because I was waking up at 3:00 in the morning 3 and 4 times a week. But alas, he feels the sleeping issues are an indication of depression, as well, although I guess that waking up feeling like I'm being roasted alive is mainly due to my being nutso because that doesn't really fit into the "depressed" mold he was trying to build. Oh and my weight gain. Well, first of all, according to Doctor Twelve-Year-Old, I haven't gained much weight in the past 10 months. I've only packed on around 15 pounds. Big deal. And it's probably because I'm over-eating because I'm depressed. Huh. So the fact that I changed my eating habits - started eating 5 small meals a day, stopped snacking late at night, gave up the 2 liter bottle of coke I was drinking every day - and I didn't lose an ounce, wasn't relevant. Repeat after me...I'm overeating because I'm depressed. Denial of that fact is, apparently, futile. I mean I've said it over and over and over again to myself and I still don't buy it, but the doc says it's true so it must be, right? Okay. Anything else, I ask? Well, I probably should be off the Hormone Replacement Therapy and on birth control pills instead. And why is that, Doc? To regulate my cycles, of course. Oh. You mean the cycles that are practically non-existent now and, while not exactly regular, consist more of "spotting" than anything else? Yeah, those cycles. You see, the birth control bills contain more hormones so I'll be better off taking them. What? Okay, I'll be this point, I knew that he and I were not going to be friends. It seemed that he was trying to fit my symptoms to meet his diagnoses rather than trying to diagnose me based on my symptoms. The indigestion, the breast tenderness, the hot flashes, the tingling, the headaches, the irregular heartbeat? He completely ignored those symptoms. The fact that my blood pressure was higher than normal? That didn't concern him either. My BP was 152/92. The nurse seemed concerned. The doctor? Not so much. Oh and, while I'm so obviously depressed, I'm not depressed enough to be medicated just yet. No, no. Let's just wait until December, shall we? In the meantime, I should keep taking the Crestor for my cholesterol (which hasn't been checked in almost a year). And when I run out of my HRT in a couple of weeks, well...I'm just out of them. Period. We'll talk birth control pills in December. So. How do I really feel about the new doctor, you may very well ask? I feel like he should carry his *ss on back to medical school and take the course that has to do with "not all women are depressed when they say they're tired and not sleeping well". I feel like he should also have to take a "comprehension" exam to see just exactly how well he listens. And once he receives his failing grade from that exam, I think he should sign up for yet one more much-needed class at an accredited medical school of his choice. And then maybe he should look into finding an experienced partner to open up an OB/GYN practice with because, quite frankly, I don't actually see him making it on his own. I will begin my search for a new doctor post haste. (Oh and just to show how vindictive I can truly be...I hope this quack packs on about 15 pounds in the next 10 months so that I can stop by his office (asuming he still has one!) sometime next August maybe and ask him..."What's the matter? Feeling depressed, Doc?".

post signature


  1. I'm sorry to hear you are so depressed...LOL What a goon.

    Keep in mind that you want an older lady doctor for the next one. Someone that can actually understand your depression!

  2. I have yet to find a doctor since moving to MT and I haven't been to an OB/GYN since the birth of my daughter who is now 3 1/2. I have NO desire to see a doctor about anything and what I have gone through with DD1's UC this past year, the less I see of them the better!

  3. That really pi$$es me off!!! I am so tired of these Dr. Doogies and their diagnosis of depression. Come on- obviously they didn't study the section on "peri-menopause" either. I personally think you should have knocked his head off & blamed it on the "depression"!! Or bit him. Or at least spit on him!!! When you have your records transferred, be sure and tell them you found a "real" dr., not a playschool one!!!

    Ok, so my "depression" must be making me react so violently to your post!!!!

  4. As I sat there with my foot up his *ss I would have explained that "this" is a foot DEPRESSED into your colon.

    Then I would have mentioned that I'm rubber and you're glue. Because if we are playing childhood games here let's play a fun one, shall we???

    Find a new doctor, baby! Quick!


  5. I hate when this happens & it has to me too. Sometimes a dr will think he knows immediately without really listening.
    I have always had better luck with a nurse practioner. I think they listen better because the aren't doctors. Find yourself a lady CRNP. I think you'll have better luck.

    He thought we are depressed & didn't offer you zoloft or anything like that?

  6. I am so happy to hear that it's DEPRESSION.......not MENOPAUSE that I'm suffering from. And to think, I've been mis-diagnosed! haha...ain't life grand

  7. Ugh.. that guy sounds like he skipped straight out of the Victorian age. I love how he attributed physical medical problems to mental.... that makes me boiling mad. I've just about decided to only go to women doctors. We'd all be clinically depressed if we had to go to doctors like him. Ok. I'll stop now before my bloodpressure shoots up.

  8. Okey dokey now...find yourself a woman gyno who is just turning 55 (when you call for the appointment make sure that is a question you ask...when whoever is on the other end of the phone stops looking around to see if anyone is paying attention, you'll get the answer to that one...then you'll be set, hopefully for life...and like they say, if you're not happy with that doctor, they're like buses...another one comes along every hour...better luck next pick...also, call the local branch of your AMA they may be able to give you heaps of help!

  9. What your Aunt Sandi said. My thinking while reading through your post, exactly! Find a female GYN...mid 50's is a good age.

    From an old broad, who has been there, Pat

    PS:Thursday is my yearly exam at the "regular" doctor, who can't understand the wt gain. Look at me...I look just like my mother, sister and cousins...what to do! Last year I avoided that lecture by breaking into hysterics over what my daughter was going through. He said nary a word and wrote out a script for Xanax. Forgot all about the wt gain lecture!!

  10. Soooo, I hope that you are calling another doctor soon. Dare I say, perhaps a woman doctor of a certain age? She'll understand, believe me, she'll definitely get it.

  11. Well, first let me tell you I'm glad you posted something...I was about to round of a posse to come looking for you.

    And speaking of that...maybe you and I should round of a posse of fellow menopausal bloggers to go "teach" that litle boy a few things about menopause. And if we're caught, we could all blame it on depression. HA!


  12. Due to my sisters breast cancer history my doc will not give me HRT...she said the only thing she can give me is depression meds and that's all women in menopause can have it may be he was following that track...

    But like you I would look for someone else!

    I started this crap at 40 and I'm 46 now...I haven't had my period in oh, six months but that was due to a uterine ablation that I had to do to stop horrible bleeding that was about to cause me to have a blood transfusion...I had to beggggggg for the surgery too...

    Sometimes I'm like Granny Clampett, I think doctors are of the devil and all in cahoots!!

    I hope you are having a better day!

  13. Kari,
    Well for being so depressed you sure are funny! You made me laugh! I have a boy Ob/gyn also and before that I had one who look liked Santa Claus. I liked my Santa doctor better because at least he seen woman who are going through menopause. My boy doctor blew me off also by saying, hey I think your going through late perimenopause. Duh, you think? He is cute though, kind of like a young Robert Redford. Anyway, I know lots of women who went through menopause in their 40's. Take care.

  14. Okay, this is one of those "just one more thing" things. I was going to send you an e-mail, and may still, but felt this was important for all our friends to be reminded of...when you are taking that med for high cholesterol, you are supposed to be having a blood test every three months to make sure your liver function stays normal. I am hoping that you have a Family Practice doctor (that's what my Dad is, you know) to keep up with all that. Don't let it slip through the cracks, little girl, you only have one liver, and while I would gladly donate you a lobe, I sure would hate to have to.

    love ya
    Aunt Sandi

  15. oh dear im so sorry. They always hear what they wanna. That is why I haven't been in years and it is way past time! hope you feel better.

  16. Okay, I say we gather the posse and go get the sucka.
    I agree with your Auntie...*waving*
    find another doc. A woman, older...or even a dude, but one who KNOWS the score, They are out there. I have a new doc too. Such is life in the military. Loved the last one. Bill says this guy is younger and has no sense of humor and is tough on weight!! I am so screwed.

    So, you tell him of course you are depressed! This danged menopause depresses you! Having HIM for a doc depresses you. Sheesh...


  17. Don't get me started on doctors :o)!!! Oh, the experiences I have had. One doctor told me something in regards to Izzy that was so crazy I literally said this to him, "Do not speak to me AGAIN. Do not speak to my husband AGAIN, and do not enter my daughter's hospital room!!!"
    He came the next morning apologizing. I accepted and then told him he was still not allowed in her room. Nice huh?

  18. You poor depressed thing, you!! hehe You know, anytime I have to see a doctor at the clinic and see that it's a YOUNG doctor, I just cringe...they may be excellent doctors years from now with more experience under their white coat but for now I try to stay away from them. I always had a female doctor but after she passed away, I've had to rely on the walk in clinic due to a shortage of doctors who take on new patients. Some of these doctors think depression is the answer to you, I know what depression is and most of the symptoms you have are NOT depression!! xoxo

  19. Dear Kari,
    Found your wonderful blog through Peeking Thru the Sunflowers (Des).

    First, prayers are being lifted for Joey and his family. Thank you for sharing this and his blog.

    Second, you can go through menopause early - I went through at 42 as well as my other sisters and mom. Find yourself a women GYN or a women internist. They are the best and know what you are going through and WILL listen.

    However, I did go through some depression with my menopause but never had the hot flashes or other symptoms that some other women had. Everyone is different.

    Unfortunately, men just don't get "menopause" whether they are a doctor or not. How could they? They are men? If men's bodies went through what women's do each month, I am afraid we would probably only have a female population. LOL

    Love your blog and intend to read more.


  20. I really hope this person gets help with his listening skills, goodness gracious.

  21. hey Kari email me My Gyn is my fav Dr he is close to my age has had lots of children and he listens really listens he likes eastern medicine along w. western so if all this sounds appealing to you and don't mind DT FW he is awesome i have sent about 5-6 people to him and they all like him i have been going to hin for 19 years

  22. oh and i left you a treat on my blog

  23. Definitely find a female GYN, around your same age. Men just don't get it. They read about our problems in a text book, but they don't actually go through it all. I worked for a female GYN and all her patients loved her because she understood what they were experiencing. None of them would ever go back to a male MD.

    Good luck.

  24. Well...I guess by his diagnosis there are a LOT of depressed woman out there in the world. AND what by golly does he think is causing this deep seeded depression? AND why doesn't he feel moved to help you out with some type of meds if in fact he really thinks that depression is the cause? I mean...depression isn't something to diagnose and then forget! Geez...this young un' is still very wet behind the ears...not to mention he needs to wipe his nose...I am in agreement...first...we round up a posse of "depressed" women and show him first hand how menopause affects LOTS of women...and need to find a new gyno...I'm sure you know that...I have a great one in the FW area...if you want his name...he is a good listener...and very thorough...doesn't take much for granted...but he is a MALE...and I do agree with another poster "how can a man know how a woman is really feeling and what she is going through?" I mean really....they can no more tell us HOW we are feeling and how things are suppose to be anymore than I can tell you why men have the urge to spit and scratch!!

    Thinking of you...hope your depression is letting up a little!!


  25. Great post! I've been having peri-menopause syptoms, but my young femal gyno thinks it's too early at 42. Waking up in the middle of the night has been a big problem for me.

    I think finding a new dr is an excellent idea! I also like the idea of finding a 50+ yr old dr. I may have to give that some thought.


Thank you for your comment. I love to hear what you have to say!