I'd like to introduce you to, what I hope will be, my new weekly rant...er...I mean...post about menopause. Why do this? Because I can, that's why. But more importantly, because I think I should do this. I need to do this. If I don't come up with something to help me diffuse my menopausal madness periodically, I'll think I'll go irretrievable insane. I've blogged about this affliction a little bit already. Okay. So I've blogged about it rather extensively. Sure, it may be a little embarrassing, but it's not criminal so buck up! If menopause makes you nervous, you're visiting the wrong blog anyway. I decided to make the first topic of this discussion "your favorite symptom of menopause". And who amongst us doesn't have a favorite? My favorite? Oh, I'm torn. The hot flashes are soooo exciting and tropical in feel (except without the pineapples, ocean breezes and fruity cocktails with those fun little umbrellas). But the night sweats! Well. Who doesn't get a special thrill out of waking up wringing wet? From head to toe. Exciting stuff, I must say. But there's also that nerve tingling anxiety that's been known to take over my every waking moment (it likes to take over when the night sweats are done with me). Here's an actual list of 35 menopausal symptoms:1. Hot flashes and flushes
2. Night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
3. Irregular heart beat
4. Irritability
5. Mood swings, sudden tears
6. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
7. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
8. Loss of libido
9. Dry vagina
10. Crashing fatigue
11. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease, feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
13. Disturbing memory lapses
14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence
15. Itchy, crawly skin
16. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
17. Increased tension in muscles
18. Breast tenderness
19. Headache change: increase or decrease
20.Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
21. Sudden bouts of bloat
22. Depression
23. Exacerbation of existing conditions
24. Increase in allergies
25. Weight gain
26. Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
28. Changes in body odor
29. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head
30. Tingling in the extremities
31. Gum problems, increased bleeding
32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
33. Osteoporosis (after several years)
34. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
35. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing,' buzzing etc.
I know. So many adventures connected to one little condition. Hard to believe, huh? Actually, what I think is so hard to believe is that more of us aren't stark raving mad 98% of the time! So tell me. Which of these happy-go-lucky items is your personal favorite? As for me, I'm going with the hot flashes since they seem to be the most loyal to me. Loyalty counts for a lot, don'tcha know...
ooops i commented in the previos post for this one--- maybe I am still peri menapausal ????
ReplyDeleteDear Kari, Yep, that about covers it! Misery is what it's all about.
ReplyDeleteI decided to tough it out without HRT and every so often I think I'm through the worst of it and back it comes! At least when you write about it I can laugh! Stephanie
Any and all of these at one time or other, would be could be perhaps.....a favorite.
ReplyDeleteWhen the cicadas are calling, I tell J.....that's what I hear all the time!
Pat
Number one fav-o-rite...trouble sleeping...I love to be up prowling this house at all hours....NOT!
ReplyDeleteNumber two fav-o-rite is definately the irretability...gives you a good excuse to tell someone off...teehee!!
I had no idea that number 34 was a symptom...I've been blaiming it on my local water.....dishpan hands, ya know...
Oh My Stars! I didn't think I had been gone that long! I have a lot of reading to do to catch up on your blog - Christmas tree ornaments that I've missed out on - Tales of an addiction (sign me up for the counseling sessions) and congratulations on your much deserved award!
ReplyDeleteAs for my favorite menopausal symptom? I think it must be the one where I randomly for no real good reason yell at my children for something so petty and minor that it doesn't even really deserve recognition - now I understand my mother. Sigh...
My absolute favorite was the cold sweats and I worked on a process where these could follow the sudden and intense hot flashes that ravished me to the point of insanity. The fan that occupies my bedside (a 22 inch boxfan, it'd be bigger if I could find one)which your Uncle calls Hurricane Alley, really only soothes me to sleep, it doesn't actually cool me down...ice cubes in front of it...that helped once, but then I was ordered to think of someone other than myself and after that someone talked the gun out of my hands I realized Uncle Wallace was actually being chilled over there. Poor man...more about him later...love
ReplyDeleteAunt Sandi
I already told you I think I have them all. LOL. I told "T" over at Livin the Life that we need to start a menopause support group. I think there are enough of us going through this now. And I love this as a regular feature, it makes me feel better knowing others are going through the same thing.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why that did that three times, it could be because this internet was so slow and I hit the button about a thousand times--sorry!
ReplyDeleteOMG You guys are scaring me.
ReplyDeleteI'm not quite there yet, although I'm recognizing some of the symptoms. Should just shoot myself now and get it over with?
BTW, it you ever get a chance to see "Menopause, The Musical" go see it, it is the funniest thing EVAH!
Well, heck - I have about half of those symptoms. Such a wonderful time in life - ugh!
ReplyDeleteMelissa
http://mcc.typepad.com/mcc_my_guys/
Username: mccaligiuri
password: lulubelle
I'm 49...going to turn half a century old next month...so...uh huh....I'm a menopausal gal too! We get crabby enough with just PMS, now why would the Lord Almighty make us go through menopause as well??? I'm not laughin' at His sense of humour! lol Geesh, reading all the symptoms on your post had me nodding so much, I hurt myself! I think the worst symptom is the night sweats...I'll wake up soaking wet and look around to see who threw a bucket of water on me! Now I'm all depressed....oh ya, that's another symptom isn't it!!!!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh the joys I have to look forward to. Things started early for my Mum, and here I am just turned 40 and having the hot flushes at night, period changes and the lack of sleep. Oh joy. I blame Eve and the apple for all this! Seriously, thanks for sharing :-)
ReplyDeleteMy fave was...oh wait...I need to put a load of laundry in. No, I can do that later. Wait..where was I? Oh, right...my fave was...someone asked me if I had frog legs, caused I walked funny..hahaha...no, no, no...no one asked me that, I READ it somewhere. I feel so confused...and I can't concentrate worth a damn!!
ReplyDeleteCassie
So pregnancy and menopause have a lot in common. Man you can't win for losing it's like a nonstop rollercoaster being a woman isn't it? No wonder we all end up crazy. LOL Oh yeah my favorite would have to be....number 20 there's nothing like have gastrointestinal problems when you are supposed to be acting like a lady.
ReplyDeleteMy God, I've never laughed so hard in my life...I see a book in this...and the horror of it is, I think we may all be crazy...and I better win those Ornaments, Little Girl...you hear the tone of my voice? Nah, just kidding...or am I?
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy feeling like a zombie & staring into space at work when I'm trying to remember what the heck I'm doing there!!!
ReplyDeleteLove that internal alarm that goes off at 1:30 each morning. I go the sofa,watch tv til 3:00 or so, fall asleep & wake up at 4:30 sweating like an ice cube!!
And the confusion--ah, sweet mystery of life. The breath thing I didn't know about, but it makes sense now--I have been to the dentist, have no cavities & yet, the awful taste remains.
Oh boy, I could go on and on. They are all so very DEAR to me!
Keep your chin up--we'll make it yet--and don't forget--we now have to pluck our chins!!!
Ewwee...That doesn't sound nice at all.
ReplyDeleteSo why am I having so much fun?
Hi Kari,Oh bless you Honey,the fellas get off easy don't they ?
ReplyDeleteOf course you can use the story,it's an oldie for me,pass it on and spread a smile across the world.
I'm scared that I may be starting the dreaded M as I have most of your symptoms and have not been well since loosing my father last year.
I'm only 38 !!!!!
You must write that book,you would make a fortune.
Kat xxxxx
No favorites... I am scared :-(
ReplyDeleteDear Menopause Guru,
ReplyDeleteI think I am in menopause - I have 1, 3, lots of 4, 6, 10, a lot of 12, I can't remember, but it think a whole lotta 13, 19 constantly and 35 on occasion. I am, um, how old am I? It's so darn hot in here it's hard to concentrate. Hmmm. I said be quiet! I'm thinking...Ah, almost 32.
Could this be menopause, or am I just losing my mind to three small children?
Help!
Sincerely,
Sweatin' It Out in MI
Aw gee...I just love all these things! I could not wait to be in menopause. It has been such fun! I am so grateful that our dear Lord decided to reward us lovely women with this glorious garden of delights! Oh how envious our younger friends are...oh. I think delusion is also a symptom isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI rather like being delusional. It is such fun..
Yippee!! Another hot flash coming on!!!! Oh to be me!!! Or YOU!!!!
Let's cheer! Meno pause!!! Meno Pause!!! We Love You!!
Ack...
Hugs,
Sue
Ok, I have to update a previous post with the funniest story. I have been helping one of the gals in my office learn the world of blogging. Each day we have shared whether or not we looked at blogs the night before & what we liked. This morning I went to the office and printed off your "menopause" post to give to her. I heard her come in and she came running back to my office with the biggest smile on her face as she announced, "You have got to go to this blog--it's the funniest and best blog yet". As she handed me YOUR blog address I was handing her YOUR list of menopause symptoms. In this big world, she & I found a true gem!!!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the blogging!!! You've got fans!!!
As someone going through the menopause I found your comments really funny. Pleased to know I'm not on my own. I called my blog after one of my symptoms. I was explaining to a friend one day that I was having a problem and muddled some words up when talking. It came out as 'since starting the menopause I keep wuddling murds up'.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you put this post up! So glad. I keep referring back to it and increasingly have more and more symptoms as I come into this joy of joy times. I think right now the tiredness which just hits is the hardest. I just love your blog, there is so much to read and savour and enjoy.
ReplyDelete