Sunday, September 23, 2007

So Much Absurdity, So Little Time

It has recently come to my attention that I am surrounded by the absurd. Although I guess absurdity is actually a matter of perspective. Something I may think is totally ridiculous may be something perfectly mundane to you. Let me show you what I'm talking about....See this little guy? He's what I got to stare at for about 2 days in a row. For some reason, this grasshopper attached himself to the screen on the window right behind the computer monitor. Every time I looked up, there he was. Through blazing sunshine and through a wicked little rainstorm...he never wavered. Two whole days. He never even moved an inch either way. I wondered what made that spot so attractive to him. And I hope whatever it was doesn't re-occur because I have no desire to stare at his funky self again.
See this watermelon? I think it's absurd. Why, you ask? Because, A) it actually grew in our backyard and, B) it split open about a day after this picture was taken, and C) out of the 4 watermelon plants we planted, this is the only one that grew. And it was gone before we ever got to love it. Therefore, I can't help but feel that this sweet little melon was nothing but absurd.
This is my granddaughter, Maddy. You gotta love this picture. She looks like she's fixin' to belly up to the bar and demand a whiskey with a beer chaser. Maddy was forever grabbing her daddy's hat and putting it on (usually backwards). This was a look for her that my son almost cultivated. He thought it was funny. I did not. Until I saw this picture. It's absurd.
Does this picture really need any explanation as to why it's absurd? Bless his little pea-pickin' heart. He looks like Spike from the Gremlins. So ugly, he's cute. Elwood has a face that, truly, only a mother could love, you know? Speaking of loving mothers, let me ask ya'll this; Have you ever heard a mother say to her child, "Honey, you're not that ugly". Of course not. So why do some mothers think it's okay to say to their child "Honey, you're not that big". Isn't that just as bad? Speaking from experience, I'm gonna go with yeah, it's just as bad. And absurd.

Sydney the Wonder Dog taking a nap. In the chair. Under the blanket. Absurd. (But oh so cute).
Sydney the Wonder Dog taking another nap (he takes a lot of naps...he's a growing boy). Notice his little tongue sticking out? He's so darn cute it's absurd.
Sydney the Wonder Dog showing us his whole tongue. Who knew there was so much of it? Absurdly long, I must say.
This is a picture Jacob took of Kaleb on a road trip to Oklahoma. He wanted to dog his brother for sleeping with his mouth open. Mean, tacky and absurd.
This is a picture of Jacob taken by me to show him how fun it's not to have somebody make fun of how you look when you're sleeping in a car. Everyone, even Jacob, tends to look absurd sleeping in a car. Does this make me mean and tacky, too? Nah. I'm the mom. This was a lesson for him. Nothing mean, tacky or absurd about that. Right?

Kaleb, Randey and Jacob (and Sydney the Wonder Dog). Randey was showing off his Nascar ticket order form for the November race at Texas Motor Speedway and his new t-shirt that the boys bought him for his birthday. The t-shirt says "Hangin with my Gnomies". Yeah. Absurd.

These are our stairs. I think there's only something like 15 steps in total. Feels more like about 300. I'm constantly running up and down, up and down, up and down...about a million times a day. As much exercise as I get going up and down these stupid stairs, I oughta have a butt like a Playboy Playmate. Instead, my rear end is more like the Playboy Mansion. Roomy and slightly obscene. Oh and yeah, the stairs do need vacuuming. But the thought of me doing them? Absurd. Really absurd.

This sign is for sale at Ross's. It's been for sale for about 2 months. Gee whiz, I wonder why? I'm thinking that this is what happens when you contract with factories in foreign, non-English speaking countries to do your signs. They might just accidentally misspell something. Which thing is more absurd? The misspelled words or the fact that Ross's is convinced they can sell it?
These flippin' Dayturas are totally absurd. I think they're indestructible, no? I can't even count the number of times I've cut them back this year alone. And yet they just keep growing more and more. Absurd.
Check out all the purple ornaments at Garden Ridge this year. I started doing a purple themed tree about 6 years ago when we lived in Florida. My dining room and kitchen were done in a "grape" motif so, naturally, the tree for the dining room had to be all purple and white and sparkly. Do you know how hard it was to find purple ornaments 6 years ago? I haven't done my purple tree for the past 2 years. And now they come out with a selection like this. Absurd.
I think these Christmas trees (also at Garden Ridge) speak for themselves. They're saying "We're absurd. Not our colors! Those are...interesting. Vibrant even. But our prices. Wow! Now they're absurd".
A big honkin' giant lives in my backyard. These are plaster casts of his footprints. Think I'm lying? Well duh. Come on. A giant in my tiny little backyard? What? You think he sleeps in the shed? That'd just be totally absurd, don't 'cha think?
And speaking of absurd (which we have been doing , if you'd have been paying attention!!), I just came back from (blog) visiting my very special British friend, Sophie Honeysuckle. You must click on this if you want to see something absolutely absurd and hysterically funny to boot. Do it. I insist. If you don't laugh out loud at what you see, you may qualify for a disability check every month because you most assuredly have suffered from a severe loss of your sense of humor (and if that doesn't qualify as a disability, I don't know what does)!

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  1. Kari,you have got to be the biggest nut lol. Absurd huh? cute post and I just love Sydney.i bet him and java would make great buddies.

  2. Ha! I got the biggest chuckle out of Randey's T-shirt.

  3. Your Uncle has had a bad back ache for over a week. Why? From the what is he out there doing right now? Trying to crank it. I asked him if he taken leave of his senses, he thought I asked if he'd taken his alleve and so he just came in to get absurd is that? I give up...I've lost complete control...and by the way, the stairs looked fine to me...

  4. Soooo funny on a Monday morning when all kinds of things are going wrong...

  5. Yeah! Don't you just *love* it... When you want something {like the purple ornaments} and they appear, well after you sought them? Yish!

    And yes, you/Mom have the perfect right {duty even} to take "see-what-you-look-like-asleep-Sonny" pics, to teach a lesson. Yes! >,-)


  6. I'm Back! (Sort of.) I love this post, and am especially enamored of the Mem-o-ey sign. That, my friend, is way too absurd and funny. I'd probably buy it. LOL. The cat in the frying pan thing was pretty absurd, too. And thank you for being the kind of woman who is willing to admit the absurdity of thinking one would vaccum (or is it vacuum - I can never remember) their stairs. I've missed you!


  7. Ahh...I love your absurd post!!


  8. Okay Kari, I haven't sent you that email yet but you sure know how to cheer up a gal with a post like this. Dang girl. This is so stinkin' funny it is A.B.S.U.R.D!
    And I love, love, love Sydney.
    Love you are too darlin' for words.
    And dang if you don't make me smile...absurd isn't it?


  9. Whoever buys those interesting trees is intrestingly absurd

  10. GET OUT OF TOWN! lol I decorated in purple a few years back too. Did it for my Cause he's the biggest Vikings fan around. One of our first ornaments was a Minnesota Vikings ornament. That's his little pride and joy at Christmas....LOL So one year we did a purple tree, couldn't find much, but we made due. And yep, now look, that purple stuff is EVERYWHERE. makes me want to go buy a little more to do a purple tree again. fun fun!

  11. Haha! What a great post!! You made me laugh today so much!! Another thing's got me wondering though on your post(like the rectangle lol!!!)-why does everyone in the States have those screen doors and windows? Is it to stop insects coming in and if so is that a big problem in the States? Or is it to diffuse the amount of light and heat coming in? Or is it all 3 reasons? I've always wondered...
    And Kari, I can't believe you grew a watermelon that big either-I'm impressed!!I didn't know you were hiding green fingers.. And Elwood isn't ugly, he's as beautiful as Spider lol!! I also loved the photo of Sydney taking a nap-bet you covered him up, that's what I do to Spider! And your playboy mansion you get the picture Kari? EVERYTHING made me laugh today!!! And thanks for the mention too-Spider is very pleased with his new-found fame!!xx

  12. I just love to read your blog. Cat in the hat has been replaced with Cat in the pan, cat on a hot tin roof? Sydney the Wonder Dog is adorable as is the rest of your family. And that's not absurd!

  13. LOL!
    Matt's sister is all about purple, she had a purple christmas tree in her very purple room... purple kitchen, purple everywhere!
    About the MEMOEY sign, maybe they assume a non-english speaking customer will come and buy it unknowingly...hmmm..

  14. That was funny....and those Christmas trees really REALLY are absurd!!!!

  15. What an absurd post...I love it! And are you SURE that's a cat?

  16. Your absurd translate to happiness to my eyes.
    You are a sweet candy!

  17. I'm wanting to do a pink and lavender tree this year, at least one and then the main tree in the living room...maybe I should make a trip down to Columbus to the Garden Ridge there!

    But the prices on those trees...YIKES!!

  18. Yeah! Finally I get to see your Datura plant! I think yours and mine are cousins!

  19. An absurd amount of photos, but I loved each and every one! Great post.


  20. I love the idea of a purple-themed tree! Cool!
    And the pics in the car are hilarious!!

  21. I have to tell you this post cracked me up! I was laughing along with you at everything you found absurd :) Those different colored Christmas trees are something else; I think I'll stick w/my traditional green!

  22. This was your best post yet. It is too funny. I love those purple ornaments by the way. Yeah where were those when I was doing my tree too? So tell me you are putting yours up again.. I just know all my beautiful stuff is going to be all ruined when I get it back in a few years.


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