Friday, September 14, 2007

The Mystery Rectangle is Solved, Just for YOU, Sophie! And I Hope You're Happy...

Just yesterday (or maybe the day before - my memory is so easily muddled these days!), I was telling Heather at Splaneyo that she shouldn't worry about blogging about the negative things in life...I said I felt that if all we ever blogged about was sunshine and roses, then we were basically writing works of fiction because life just consists of so much more than that. And now, that advice is coming back to bite me in the behind. lol After reading my previous post, Sophie asked about this "rectangle" that she could see in the last picture. She said she was very "intrigued" by it and had even tried enlarging the photo, but even that didn't reveal the "mystery of the rectangle". Sophie, my dear, you have entirely too sharp of an eye and you ask too many questions! You are forcing me to admit to just how b*tchy I can be! People out here in Blogland are not supposed to know these things. I don't mind them thinking I'm crazy or whiny or needy or ignorant. But b*tchy? That was something I was hoping to keep hidden. Forever. But - what the heck. It was bound to come out sooner or later anyway. So here's what that "rectangle" is. It's a note I have taped to the door and it reads: Now - in my defense (like their could be a defense of this)- I typed this note and put it on the door a long, long time ago and only after I had been dragged downstairs to the sound of a ringing doorbell about a 100 times in one day for people selling all manner of things. The final straw was some strange woman who came to my door to tell me that Brad Pitt and those like him were dragging our households down into the pit of hell because we all "worshipped" him and "let him get away with immoral behavior because he's famous". Well I don't know Brad Pitt. I don't even want to know Brad Pitt. I'm still a little miffed at how he handled his "uncoupling" from Jennifer Anniston, although really and truly, in the great big grand scheme of things - I just don't think too much about Brad or Jen one way or the other. I'm guilty of Hollywood Apathy, I admit it. However, this woman, who was representing a religion that I am totally unfamiliar with, wasn't taking a polite "I'm not interested" and leaving. No, no, no. She wanted to come in and discuss this with me. In depth. I wanted to finish my aunt's scrapbook that I had been working on. I know. I'm shallow. Another admission of guilt on my behalf. And I don't much care, either. So anywho, after running up and down the stairs all day that day - and this really wasn't an unusual occurrence in our neighborhood - I mean really, we're like "Door-to-Door Salesmen Central" around here, I typed up this sign. Yes. It is rather unfriendly. (Although, please note - I wanted to be clear to my neighbors that I don't mind their children coming to ask me to buy something for their school fundraisers, etc.). And yes, I should probably take it down now. But it's become something of a joke around here. You would not believe the number of people who apparently can't read because these illiterate weenies still ring our doorbell from time to time (just yesterday, as a matter of fact) so it's not like it does any good anyway. And now that I've confessed to the world just what an anti-social, negative, growling kind of woman I truly am, I think I'll go find my window scraper and see about removing my testy little sign. Thanks, Sophie. While I know that confession is good for the soul, you've really got to figure out how to enable your e-mail so I can reply to these things directly and privately to you! lol

22 comments:

  1. No!!!! Leave the sign up. I think it's quite good.... and it must put someone off. I like the fact that you are not banning the neighbours kids, but just the ones that call uninvited. Good on you!

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  2. Also, I will be putting you on my list of blogs what I read. Is this OK?

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  3. I am laughing my head off as we say over here!!!!!! Oh sorry Kari, I had no idea what it was-thought maybe you had an ultra posh outside tv screen or something lol!!!!! But it's brilliant-you must leave it up!! The funny thing is that this morning I got a load of junk mail through my letterbox, and so I stuck up a 'strictly no junk-mail or cold-calling' sign on MY door!! So I share your anti-social gene!
    From your fellow 'seagull/magpie loving anti-social' friend!!
    In fact, I'm going to re-read your post right now as it made me laugh so much!!!

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  4. Oh my goodness...I wish I still had the sign I used to have on the front door which included I do not have a public bathroom nor a public telephone if you need help I am capable of dialing 911 or just picking up my walkie talkie and calling some help immediately. I have heard Michael tell people that I have answered the door with a gun at my side. He lies. I had it pointed straight out in front of me so that the hells angel who had knocked on my door could get the point...gun in one hand, badge held over it with the other in shooting stance. At my side, indeed. I think he was afraid the truth would scare his girlfriend, lol

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  5. Oh my gosh girl...you MUST leave this up! As our Sophie said, "It is brilliant!"
    I have considered one but yours is better than anything I could come up with!
    Oh my jingoes...Brad Pitt? Who?? *grin* Brian Dennehy I get but Brad, "Pretty boy, throw away your wife and shack up with a skinny tattooed Mommy and try to pass yourself off as a humanitarian Pitt?" But,
    nah...downfall of civilization my fanny.

    I blame Joan Rivers, Howard Stern,
    decaf Coke and Oreos (Okay, Oreos and the Coke are MY downfall but...) for that.

    Love and hugs,
    Sue

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  6. http://pleasecomehomeforchristmas.blogspot.com/ I ain't lyin'!!!

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  7. Too funny! Which picture did she see the rectangle in? I can't find it anywhere! She has great eyes!

    I would have told the lady that I was the worship leader at the Brad Pitt church just to get her reaction.

    Leave up the sign.

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  8. That is great Sissy!! I need one of those now that I am living in Utah, if you know what I mean!!!

    Love ya,
    Dawn
    P.S. Give Uncle Randey a hug for me!!

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  9. Oh, you are too funny. I love the sign!

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  10. Hi
    Love the red door and leave that sign there! Good for you You have made me laugh tonight

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  11. LOL, Kari! leave your sign up...there's nothing wrong with discouraging solicitors. You did it really cleverly. I'm really chuckling at this one. Too funny.

    Thanks for all your positive comments always on my blog. I'm adding you to my links too.

    Rhoda

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  12. You go girl! I say leave it up and add some flashing warning lights! LOL

    Hugs!
    Kat

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  13. Ok--I think I have enabled my email!! I'm really new at this!!

    And, when I went in to edit my profile, I saw that I was from Oklahoma in Afganistan!!!!! Boy, was I quick to change that to the USA!!!!!

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  14. Oh I would definitely leave that sign up!

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  15. Thankyou for your wisdom and kindness,I am sat here in tears as so many folk have been so nice ( crazy I know),Kari,my husband has taken his wedding ring off and thrown it at me and my friends are at work or out,my heart is breaking.....

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  16. Sweetie that's not being bitchy that's just respecting your privacy. Where we used to live the landlady had a sign posted, not that it did much good. Very annoying!

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  17. Kari, I wouldn't dream of ever subjecting you to the trauma of viewing our spinach green carpet!!!! Haha, it is truly grotesque, if you were to see it, you'd go sailing straight back to the States!! I feel it is our duty to get rid of it a.s.a.p.
    I cannot survive another Christmas holiday (see I'm getting excited about Christmas too)letting it ruin my decorating scheme (I could cut it up and send it as Christmas presents to my enemies-it's that bad!!)xxx

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  18. I'm giving you honorable mention for an award you already have. You deserve it!

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  19. Kari,
    This sign is too funny! I usually just don't answer the door when someone comes who I am unsure what they are selling or whatever. One of my friends let someone in once and they stole her cell phone and so she called her cellphone and he answered. So there's a reason not to answer the door.

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  20. "Illiterate weenies"
    Heehee!
    You just made my day!

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  21. you know that you write so nice and thoughtful and then very easy for me, I mean everything is everyday, no big dictionary or enciclopedia words.
    I love you for that.
    I have been preparing a little something for you and I know you will enjoy it because you are such beautiful big compassionate heart woman!!! Just be patient ;-)

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