Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Dangers of Nagging


Ladies (and gentlemen, if there are any out there brave enough to read my blog), have you ever tried to get your way using the ever-popular "Nag Method"? Be honest now. Admit it - most of you have. Well I'm here to tell you, do not try this method unless your skills are sharp and well honed. If you've allowed these particular skills to lag in the least little bit, I highly recommend that you cease and desist all Nag activity immediately or be prepared to pay the consequences. I am here to testify! Improper nagging can cause unexpected, and sometime frightening, results. For example, as most of you probably know, I'm currently caught in the torturous grip of menopause. This means I'm hot (and not in a good way!). I have nagged repeatedly to my dearly beloved that Texas summers are just too flippin' harsh for me to stand anymore. I mean I have gone on and on and on about it and not just to Randey, but to anyone who will listen. People walk up to me in Target and say, "Excuse me, do you know where the shampoo aisle is?" and I answer with "Can you believe this weather? How much longer until we explode? Are you melting? Don't you feel like your eyebrows are being singed off everytime you put on your sunglasses? I don't think I'm going to survive another day of this! And the shampoo is over by the pharmacy, idiot. Where the heck did you think it would be? Your lack if Target store knowledge has just caused my irritation level to hit the absolute limit. And, by the way, dipstick, do I look like I work here? Do Target employees walk around with giant pink purses and a StarBucks cup? I didn't think so. Now go get your freakin' shampoo and leave me the h**l alone". (That last snarky part I attribute directly to menopause rather than the Texas heat.) Well strangely enough, apparently, Randey got a tad bit tired of listening to me. Yeah, I know. I don't get it either. So he looks at me and asks just where is it that I think I want to live? And, not being prepared for someone to actually acknowledge my endless nagging, I said the first thing that popped into my head..." A lot of my blogging friends say that Ohio is a wonderful place the live. The temperatures are already cooling off and they say they have nice long winters, too". He stopped, turned around, looked at me and said "Ohio? I can't even picture where that's at!". This is the man who has traveled extensively all over the United States and beyond in conjunction with his job for the past, oh I don't know, hundred years or so! I tried to visually map out the location of Ohio for him because it seemed like the thing to do. The poor dear - he seemed so confused about the Mystery that is Ohio. He walked away, shaking his head, muttering to himself. Fast forward to the next day: I stumble out of bed and eventually head upstairs to read my e-mail. I open up my Yahoo and there sits an e-mail from Randey; subject line: Ohio job. What??? I click on it. It says something along the lines of "You're never going to believe this, but when I got into work this morning, I had received an e-mail regarding a job opening in Toledo, Ohio, so I applied." Toledo???? I was thinking Cincinnati or Dayton maybe. Toledo? As in...Max Klinger's Toledo Mud Hen fame? Where the heck is Toledo? Well, as it turns out...it's pretty darn close to Michigan. I know because I pulled up this map that I've posted here. See how far up there it is? Waaaaaaay up there. Yeah. I know it's cooler there! But here's the thing, though. I am an Okie. Through and through. Oklahoma born. Oklahoma raised. Oklahoma is one of the reasons why moving to Texas from Florida was so attractive for me. It was closer to home, i.e, Oklahoma. And now, I may have just nagged myself up to Toledo. How'd I do that? I'll tell you. Unskilled nagging. But - what's done is done. Too late to choke my words back. And maybe it's fate. I said Ohio and the next day, there's a job announcement. But..as Randey was quick to point out...he may not even qualify for this job (civil service announcements are funny that way - there's always a chance that they've worded it in such a way as to exclude 99% of the people who apply. It's their little way of "pre-selecting" without "pre-selecting" because, well, "pre-selecting" is illegal, don't you know!) So. Here I sit. Nervous as can be, wondering what I've wrought with my mouthy, mindless nagging and pretty much convincing myself that what happens, happens. Fate. Destiny. Nagging. It's all the same, don't you think?

23 comments:

  1. Kari!!! Why didn't you say ENGLAND!!! You've missed your chance now girl!! Just think of the shopping we could have done, the Christmas decorating, the joint nagging of our husbands...by the way, how do you think I've got him straight onto doing the hallway when we've only just finished the kitchen...skilled nagging, or 'cajouling' as I prefer to call it lol!!!

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  2. Alabama is beautiful~ except in the summers when you might wish you had a Texas breeze.

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  3. OHIO!!!!!!!OHIO!!!!!!!OH.....IO.....OH.....IO
    Oh, ho OhHiOh....

    Okay, Toledo is not that very far from here...so I would be tickled.
    I know that moving is tough though...
    so, just take a big breath and see what happens. Whichever it is, it was meant to BE!

    And, if it IS Ohio, I will come help you unpack!!!

    Just see......just hold fast...

    Love and hugs,
    Sue

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  4. Sadly, my "constructive criticism" never quite turns out like I hoped either. I guess it's all about practice, practice, practice!

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  5. Oh Kari, you would just be about three hours from Cincy. We could meet in the middle and go shopping. Just think of all the trouble we could get in. And you would just love the weather today, it feels like fall. Toledo gets alot more snow than we do though.

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  6. I've just dragged myself in here to see what was going on and somehow I think you missed the point of my last post. You are supposed to be cheering me up. Now here I read that the gods have laughed instead and you may be moving to Toledo? I lived in Cleveland when I was a child. All I can remember is people walking around telling me to talk for them...my accent was appealing or annoying, I was never quite sure which. Don't move to Toledo...do what you must. Altho it's close to Canada and Windsor is a beautiful place. Of course, I'm sure Toledo is as well...I've heard New Jersey made fun of for years but after living there, found it to pretty, too...at least South Jersey was...could you maybe live in South Toledo?

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  7. Hey that is my Home State Go Buckeyes!!! well shoot it takes 5 years and no menapause to acclimate to TX weather but I have done it sweeie and you will be able o too i promise Goout early Am's and bits at a time and it will happen esp w/ Hu hmm ..... Exercize:>
    Ohio is Beautiful w/ rich hisrory but jobs are scarse and taxes high as is cos of Living. I hope you get what you want --if you know what that is:>

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  8. Kari,Kari
    Please don't tell me nagging doesn't work. I have been doing that for ten years. I lived in Louisiana all my life. Moved to Florida in th country and loved it! Of course a company can't keep you where you are happy. Then I got drugggg to Mississipi and HATE it.Hot...Humid....Hell and all those other H words.Guess what now? talk is if we move it will be HOUSTON! Please you can't leave Texas.You will be all I do have.

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  9. Ohio would be a giant weather change. You probably wouldn't like the cold winters & snow.

    At least you know your H is listening!!!

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  10. Oh Girl you crack me up! Thanks for the belly laugh. But, girl...it's COLD up that far!! But, God is in control, so we'll see what happens.

    Hugs!
    Kat

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  11. You better be careful! I nagged for 10 years about hating the place where we lived. One day, while nagging, a commercial for Montana came on and my hubby said, "Maybe we should move to MT". Now I'm in Montana - but not all is bad - I love it here - maybe God is sending you to Ohio and you'll love it. :)

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  12. Oh There is a saying " be careful what you wish for" But Lake Eyrie on your doorstep, beautiful autumns alittle closer to visiting UK !! Whatever happens I hope you are happy Mary

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  13. Ohio?!? Goodness, you'll become a popsicle during the winter time. ;) I have a few friends who live there. But you can't leave Texas. Burrr, that make me cold just thinking about it....LOL ;)

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  14. Come on up friend!!! I love Ohio...except when I get homesick for KY in which case I make the 5 hour trip south to my daughters.

    When my Hubby said we were moving to Ohio, I freaked! I thought it was just one big "Yankee" city...nope...rolling farm lands and nice "Yankee" people ;)

    I live just below the "field" in Springfield...near Columbus...love it...as a matter of fact going out today to explore the Autumn countryside!
    :)

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  15. Ohio can't be that bad. It's got an East Liverpool in it... which I never knew about. And you did say north!

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  16. That is so funny how you just threw OH out there and the next day there is a job opening! Yes I know how those civil service job openings work! They have to announce them to give everyone a "chance" but a lot of times they do already have someone in mind and they are just going through the motions!

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  17. I'm with Sophie,Harrods,English tea,cool summers,cooler winters,Marks and Spencer,Fortnum and Mason,Fish and Chips !!!!!!!
    I've seen Oklahoma the musical but thats the closest I can get I'm afraid.
    Felling a bit better,thankyou,Kat xxx

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  18. I actually didn't even read this post! I promise i will come back tomorrow and read it. But right now...I'm exhausted from football-induced crazeness and joy and I really need some sleep soon!!! But...I just had to come on and let you know THANKS for cheering on my Tide last night. Whew, what a game!!
    And I also can't believe I'm saying this but...Yay for Oklahoma!!!
    I gotta tell you that i think they are looking great. I really think that LSU should be #1 and Oklahoma #2.
    anyway...thanks for crimson support!! ha!!! And now I'm off to bed...

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  19. You should have said FRANCE or some exotic place like Hawaii. OHIO ~ no offense to any Ohioans? out there. You know what Chris Daughtry says - be careful what you wish for - cause you just might get it all! LOL!
    With ya on the HOT ~ tired of being HOT from the heat and pre-menopause ~ can't imagine what it will be like in full swing. YIKES
    Have a great week.
    Many Blessings,
    Sandy :)
    PS STAY COOL!

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  20. Oh, myyyy yes, Toledo will be much, much colder!
    And snowier.
    Like 2 feet+!

    BWAHhahahahahahaaaaaaa!

    Next time, hit them with your giant pink purse and throw the Starbucks on them....

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  21. Joan has an excellent point~ if you come here, you, Joan and I could meet somewhere in the middle! Wouldn't that be great?
    (Yes, I am totally crashing your party plans, Joan!)

    And if you're way menopausal, Joan and I could just sit far enough away that any coffee or giant pink purses would fall harmlessly to our feet....!

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  22. I had no idea where Toledo is either, until I read about it here! I do know where OHIO is, however. Being close to Michigan sounds nice!

    Missouri is one of those states that isn't famously geographically known, also.

    Nag away dear Kari...it's an amazing tention reliever!

    Pat

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  23. Kari,

    You are too funny! I am definitely adding your blog to my ever growing list of "must read" blogs!

    Ohio is beautiful. My husband is from there. We also lived there for six years while my husband was in the Air Force. Three years in Cincinnati, and three years in the Columbus area. It does get colder and more snow up in Toledo though.

    I was born and raised in California. I am telling you, there is NOTHING better than experiencing FALL! I never got to see all the beautiful colors before, and now I don't ever want to live in a place that I cannot see them. (We are now in Illinois).

    I hope things turn out the way you want them too!

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