Paint it RED!

Ever get a wild hair and decide to paint a room in your house? Who hasn't, right? Unfortunately, this happens to me more than most (just ask Randey - he'll tell you it's true). Even more unfortunate, I have the absolute worst "color sense" of anyone I know. I mean really. I can just look at something and immediately pick out the worst color to go with it. It's a gift, of sorts. If you ever want to know what color NOT to paint something, call me. Ask my opinion and then do the exact opposite. It's taken me a long, long time to come to terms with my color issues. I recently decided that the color I painted the kitchen 2 years ago when we moved in is all wrong. Actually, I never liked the way it looked, but couldn't figure out why I disliked it so much. Then it hit me. The walls and the cabinets just blended in together. If you squinted, you couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. Boring, boring, boring. So - knowing how prone I am to bad color selection - I enlisted the help of my dearly beloved to choose something new. My dearly beloved chose RED. Wow. Couldn't believe it. This is a man who thought I needed therapy because I didn't want any white walls in our house. Apparently, he's been converted to the world of color. And how! Red. Hmmm. So okay. Who am I to argue? My track record speaks for itself so we went with the red. And I think I like it. Maybe. I'm really not sure. It's better than it was. But it's so....well, RED. But here's the thing. Color experts say that red is a great color for a kitchen or dining room because it...get ready - you're gonna love this! - stimulates the appetite. Well, yippee-kie-aye! That's just what I was looking for! Something to make me hungry (or hungrier, if you want to get more accurate). I'm thinking Randey just wants a fat wife! He's done everything except lather me up with crisco (and that would be a WHOLE other blog if it did happen!) to keep me fat. First with the Godiva chocolates. Always bringing them home for every holiday. (Yeah, everyone should have a spouse that mean, huh?) Then with the candy ("I couldn't remember if you like smarties or sweet-tarts so I got them both"). Don't want to forget the bags of Cheetos ("hey - check this out,hon! Cheetos are fat-free!"). And now he picks RED for our kitchen. It's a sign, people! My man wants me full-figured! REALLY full-figured, I'm guessing. And who am I to make him unhappy? Never let it be said that I'm not out to please my husband. Throw out the scales and pass the gravy! I'm gonna make Randey one happy, happy man!