Tuesday, August 14, 2007

He's Driving Me Crazy! And Now It's Legal For Him To Do It!

See this kid? This is my baby. My youngest. The last tenant of my womb. See that piece of paper he's holding? I know...it's all blurred and white but so what? You don't need to read the actual words anyway. I can tell you what it says. It says, "Kari Leigh. You are officially an old woman. Your youngest child has been granted a Learners Permit to drive. That means you can no longer pretend you are the parent of a youngling. You are just one more old lady in the world today. Give up the hair color now. Go gray. Completely gray. Your days as a young, hip mom are over, lady. You are now nearing the crest of the hill we call "Mount Middle Age". A couple more steps and you will, indeed, be over the hill. And by the way, your youngest child may not drive without an adult over the age of eighteen (and Heaven knows, Kari, YOU qualify on that score) accompanying him."

Okay. So maybe it doesn't say that in so many words, but that's the general idea. He's had this permit for about a week. I've just refused to grasp the full meaning of it. It wasn't until we were leaving tennis practice (the boys', not mine) last night that I realized...Kaleb will be a junior in high school this year and Jake will be a sophomore. What the heck? Where did the time go? How did this happen? Just the other day, those two were sitting in carseats and stealing each other's bottles. Well, I guess it wasn't just the other day that they were doing that. How funny would that have looked? Two teenage boys, strapped into carseats, their heads smushed against the ceiling of the car while they snatch bottles out of each others mouths...yeah, that's a vision. Still, it doesn't seem possible that my youngest little baby can now drive a car. Sure, sure. Jake getting his permit isn't supposed to be about me and only a narcissistic personality such as mine could turn it into such. Yeah? So? I'm self-centered. Duh.You really think pointing that out to me will change the way I'm viewing this? Please. Look up "narcissist" in the dictionary, then get back to me. Try to see it from my point of view, would you? And the point I'm making is, his getting a permit is just one more indication that my old age is fast approaching. He's my baby! My youngest baby! First menopause, now this! A part of me says I'm looking at this all wrong. But that part isn't dealing with wrinkles, hot flashes and flabby arms. I think I need a therapist. Or a good, stiff drink. Or both. I guess the good news is, now I'll have one more driver to get me home after a drunken session at the therapist's office, huh?


  1. You need to think of it as your passport to FREEDOM! But then, I have one driver and three small ones yet to drive and I'm anxious to get them out of here! (at least today anyway)

  2. See, there's a good way to look at it. Another driver to get you home after a drunken visit to the therapist. It's a good thing. ;)

    Well, I totally know where you're coming from. One of my best friends have 16 and 15 year old songs. They make me cry all the time...lmao! I remember when they were in Elementary, having Christmas parties in class. And now....here they are driving! OMG, I swear I cried more than she did when the 16 year old got his permit and then his license. Pretty soon they are going to be graduating. I won't be able to make it through the ceremony, I'm sure....LOL

    And Hello, my kids are just 7 and 4. LOL

  3. Okay, you are too funny. It is a little bittersweet. You are excited for them but at the same time, thinking time is going way to fast. I know how you feel!!

  4. Oh my goodness, can I relate to this post! Nothing like your kids growing up to make you feel old. I read your comment on my Pharmaceutical Phreebies post, and decided that I really like you! So I thought I'd come over and browse a while. I'm having so much fun!

  5. Well, I've been there and done that and no...I don't have the t-shirt and don't want it either. So there! Wow...I got a little testy just thinking about how old I feel after your reminder...a funny reminder, but still a reminder. LOL

    I vote for the stiff drink.

    Oh, and chocolate, of course...it makes EVERYTHING better. Temporarily...but still.


  6. Hey...wait a minute! I got that same "You Are An Old Lady" paper. You will adjust..and the stiff drinks do help. Come on, old woman...I'm buyin'.

    Rock On Baby..and I mean that in the Rock n Roll sense..not like in a chair or anything.. ;)


  7. I would be freakin out! Byw thanx for your comment on my blog:)

  8. Hi
    Been catching up with you You are not getting old People my age are young and officially I am old! If you know what I mean! I love the snow pictures It has cooled down here again this week and of course raining again. Ive started my Christmas planning!!!

  9. I tell every new mother and father I meet to wait just a bit, next month they'll want the car. Once again, I've been proven right...I remember when this young whippersnapper was born, but worse, I remember when Nick was born! Talk about feeling old? I'm with ya, baby girl!
    Aunt Sandi

  10. You mean I'm gonna be feeling all of this before long? Oh yikes. Okay girl be an example...show me the way!

  11. We finally came to the conclusion if we plan for 2-3 tickets and one accident per child we are less horrified but don't tell them that :>

  12. Oh man - I don't even want to think about driving! It is funny you mentioned the Robert B. Parker books as inspiration for Spencer's name because my mom wanted us to spell it with an S instead of a C because of the books. We thought people would always be spelling it wrong if we did that, but it doesn't seem to matter - people spell it wrong anyway. Oh well.

  13. Scary how quickly they grow up!! But as you say, now he can be the designated driver for you-think of the fun you can have!!
    Kari, thanks for removing the antichrist (word verification) from your blog!!! For some reason the ones on your blog hated me...

  14. I just discovered your blog today and girl you are such a riot!LOL... You had me rolling with your great sense of humor and witty personality! I just love your blog!!!!!

  15. Sweetie my baby girl is gonna be 26 in a couple weeks. When did this happen?!? I was lucky with the Big M. Just some power surges thankfully, oh and this butt that won't go away.

  16. You are not an old lady ! Let him drive you around, you might enjoy being chauffered.

    My g'son just got his permit too. It does make you feel kind of old.

    Visit my blog, I'm having a giveaway.

  17. You are NOT old...because if YOU are old than *I* am ancient and I can not allow that. Nope. You are young and just entering the prime of life. Really. Truly.

    And your son is a handsome guy! Adorable! I remember when Danny got his *freedom* ticket...but he was still home more than he was away so I guess it all worked out. : )

    How about a therapist who drinks and tell us what we want to hear?



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