I have spent the last 2 or 3 days wandering around in "Blogland". I've been fascinated, impressed, intimidated, tickled and warmed. I think my favorite part has been looking at all the different pictures people have posted...of their children, their homes, their pets, their hobbies, their lives. I find myself wondering "why am I so interested in these strangers?" And what makes me think any of them would be interested in me? I think it's because some of their musings and their dreams and their realities so closely resemble my own. I'm amazed to know that there are people halfway across the world who share my interests. I'm flabbergasted to see that there are gardens way up in Canada that are gorgeous and lush (what do I know? I think Canada and I see snow, not greenery - and yes, I'm am mortified to admit to something that goofy). I've been so very impressed with the eloquence of some of these bloggers (especially my Aunt Sandi http://sandimcbride.blogspot.com/ ) who has a way of making me see what she's actually talking about. I fell in love with these 3 blogs in particular, http://teaandmargaritas.blogspot.com/, http://sophiehoneysuckle.blogspot.com/, and http://countrycottagechic.blogspot.com/. They have some of the greatest pictures and thoughts I've seen and read. Actually, to tell you the truth, I fell in love with a lot of blogs while I've been surfing along here in Blogland and they are listed on the left side of my page. Check 'em out - they're really awesome.
In the middle of my warm and fuzzy feelings about how much I have in common with some of these people, that four letter word (you know the one, it's starts with an F) came to me. I'm talking about FEAR. Ugghh! I was struck with strong feelings of inadequacy - these people are happy, smart, creative, pulled together...who am I to think we have anything in common! For Pete's sake, I'm prone to fits of moodiness, I sometimes forget to think like a relatively intelligent person (see previous thoughts on "Canada and gardens" for proof of that), most of the "creative" things I do are things I've seen someone else do first and the last time I was "pulled together", it was because the drawstring on my pajama bottoms got caught on the drawer pull in the kitchen when I was getting a spoon for my cereal! And I don't think that's the kind of "pulled together " that counts. Well, geez. There went the fun I was having. I went from being amongst my peers to being a kid with her nose pressed up against the window pane - looking in on all the cool kids having a great time with each other (paranoid much?). And what's more, I think most of these people are skinny. Obviously, that means they have much more self control than I could ever possibly muster. I have nothing in common with these people. Nothing. And yet...I'm still strangely drawn to their blogs. Maybe I'm hoping some of their sparkle will rub off on me. Or maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. Or maybe...just maybe...I'm a dork whose worst trait is a strange and baffling need to over analyze every little thing going on around me. I guess it boils down to this...I like Blogland. I like catching a glimpse into the lives of others and I like hearing about the day to day thoughts these people have. Yeah, sometimes I guess I'll suffer my own thoughts of not measuring up to what others can say or do or be...but hey!...as I said, I like being here in Blogland so I think I'll just have to take a deep breath, relax, and let my happy self roam freely through all your blogs and keep my paranoid inadequate self in storage for awhile. I'm tired of dealing with her anyway!