For the Veterans in Our Family

Many, many members of my family have served (and some are still serving) this great country of ours. Today, I would like to honor them for putting their lives on the line for our freedoms. My father, Joe. Dad served in 3 branches of the military, finally retiring from the United States Air Force Reserves. Pictures are, from left to right, of Dad in his Air Force blues, Dad when he was in the United States Navy and Dad when he was a member of the Oklahoma Army National Guard. (He joined the Guard illegally, at the age of 16, then did a hitch in the Navy and then signed up with the Air Force. )
My husband, Randey, who is currently serving in the United States Air Force Reserves after having spent 10 years on active duty.
My precious son, Nicholas, who is serving in the United States Air Force and has flown in too many combat missions for me to count.
My mother, Betty, who retired from the United States Air Force Reserves.

My darling Uncle Wally, who retired from the United States Navy (yes, guys...this is Aunt Sandi's husband).
My brother-in-law, Ken, who retired from the United States Air Force Reserves after first having spent around 10 years in active duty.
My nephew, Joseph, who is currently serving in the United States Air Force Reserves.
My step-father-in-law, Wally, who retired from the United States Navy.
My Uncle Mac, who served in the United States Navy.

My brother-in-law, Andrew, who is retired from the United States Army.

I have many other relatives that served in the military whose pictures aren't shown. They include my Uncle Lonnie, who retired from the United States Army; my step-father, Jack, who retired from the United States Navy; my cousin Alonna, who served in the United States Air Force Reserve; my cousin Don (Dutchie) who retired from the United States Air Force; my uncle Don, who served in the United States Air Force; my cousin Stephen, who served in the United States Army; my cousin Frank, who served in the United States Army; my husband's step-brother, Scott, who is currently serving in the United States Air Force Reserves; my Great Uncle, Sentiff Charles McBride, who served in the United States Navy back in the 1930's; and my Great Uncle Hiram Wallace McBride, Jr., who served with the Office of Strategic Services back in WW II and is a true, blue American hero. In fact, all of these people are heroes to me. You all have done, or are doing, a job that can often times be downright thankless. But I thank you...every moment of every day that I breathe free air, I thank you.

Joan is Giving Away a Paula Deen Christmas Cookbook!

Joan over at Joan's Journeys is having a Paula Deen Christmas Cookbook giveaway! Now me? I don't get cookbooks. Really. But this one is special. Everybody loves Paula Deen. I say that because you guys are always jabbering on and on about her! lol So if you want the chance to win this, head over to Joan's blog and leave a comment. Her drawing will be Tuesday, November 13th, if I'm not mistaken. (And just so you know, everyone here in my house has their fingers crossed that I'll win. Crazy people. Thinking a book is gonna help me cook better. Yeah. Like that'll help!)

Our Date with Fred Claus

Our "date night" was a little bit different than normal, I must say. "Date night" used to entail dinner and a movie...you know, basic date stuff. Last night, however, we (meaning I) decided to do something different. Poor Randey just sort of looked at me with glazed eyes when I said I really, really wanted to go to Barnes and Noble before we went to see our movie. While he doesn't mind going to B&N, he's not a huge fan of the place either. But hey - there were a couple of Star Wars books that I wanted to look for. Yeah, I said Star Wars books. You guys know I love that stuff...can't get enough of it. Uh-huh, that's what I'm saying. I'm a 44 year old, chunky-butted, formerly menopausal but currently depressed instead, housewife who loves reading Star Wars books. And I didn't have the last two to have been published! Oh the shame! How can I even call myself a Star Wars fan, right? Falling so far behind in my Star Wars reading is, in itself, reason enough to put me into a state of deep, dark despondency (Hey, wonder if Doctor Depression counted my incomplete book list as one of the reasons for my woebegone state of mind? Must have, I'm sure. He obviously knew so much about me by reading between the lines during our little "talk". But that's getting off the subject so we'll leave that be for now). Anywho...since we were headed over to Barnes and Noble, I thought "Gee whiz, why not go to Hobby Lobby, too, since they're right by each other". I shared that thought with Randey. He smiled that "sure, go ahead and eat half my dessert because you were too stupid to order your own" smile and I watched his eyes glaze over even further. I was afraid to ask about going to Michael's. I figured if his eyes got any glaze-ier, he wouldn't be able to see to drive and I sure as heck can't see to drive at night so I shut my mouth before I talked myself right into a taxi. So off we went. First to Hobby Lobby, where we (meaning I again) found a few cute Halloween decorations marked down by 80%. Can't beat that, now can you? I'll have to take pictures to show you. And, of course, we (still meaning I) found a few more Christmas ornaments. (You can never have too many. Duh. Everybody knows that, right?) After scouring HL for any and all bargains, we headed to B&N. I found 3, count 'em, 3 Star Wars books that I didn't have (yeah, so I read the little Scholastic ones, too. So what? They're well-written. Really. They are!). We decided to grab a sandwich and lattes from the B&N Starbucks for dinner (not the best choice, as it turns out). The lattes were good. The sandwich? Not so much. I'd even go so far as to say "ick". Because, well, it tasted.......ick. Randey didn't eat. There's a reason behind that but we won't go into it here. And then we went to the theater. (yippee!) As you all know, we were going to see Fred Claus, starring Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti. How was it, you ask? Let me tell you...it started out a tad bit slow. I'm not sure at what point it picked up, but by the end of the movie, Randey and I were grinning and laughing and having a great time. It wasn't the best Christmas movie I've ever seen, but I thought it was pretty darn good. I might even go see it again. (And if you knew just how tight-fisted I can be sometimes, you'd understand what a compliment that was. Although, come to think of it...I am pretty free with our cash when it comes to Christmas stuff so maybe that's not such a compliment after all. lol) I love Vince Vaughn so I fully expected to enjoy his performance. But Paul Giamatti...while I certainly don't dislike him, I didn't think I would care for him as Santa Claus. But man, he was good. I actually liked him as Santa. And the North Pole looked fan-tab-u-lous! So pretty and sparkly and festive. My idea of paradise. Ya'll can keep your sandy beaches and your Tuscan villas....if Santa Claus's North Pole was for real, that's where you'd find me hanging out every chance I got! But alas, it's not real, is it? So I'll just have to settle for plastering Christmas decorations all over every available surface in our living room and pretending I'm drinking my hot cocoa with Santa every evening. Wonder if I could get Randey to wear a red suit? And maybe a furry little hat. Hmmmm. Randey Claus/Santy Claus.... they sound pretty close, don't they? I could probably convince him to wear a Santa suit, if I got him drunk enough (good trick really, since he doesn't drink alcohol!). Oh but I digress....Christmas always makes me prone to fantasy. Back to what we were talking about...oh yeah, Fred Claus. I give it a thumbs up....and now that I've told you my opinion of the movie, go away....I'm trying to focus on that vision I have of Randey wrapped in red and white fur and wearing leather boots. Yeah, baby! Ho-ho-ho!

P.S. Vee over at A Haven for Vee asked me what was my favorite Christmas movie. That's a tough one. I love It's a Wonderful Life. And Christmas Vacation just cracks me up every single time I watch it. Then there's The Ref...horrible language, but so flippin' funny that I can't help but love it. Oh. and Scrooged with Bill Murray. Gotta love that one! The Home Alone movies (I and II) - come on! You know those are great ones, right? But then again, there's the Santa Clause Trilogy....those always make me feel good(and the 3rd one is coming out on DVD November 20th!). Miracle on 34th Street...I love, love, love the story of the original, but the beautiful sparkle of the scenery in the newer one is just too hard to resist. Oh heck. This is almost impossible to choose a favorite! But if I absolutely had to...I guess I'd go with White Christmas. For today anyway. I may feel differently tomorrow. So much visual Christmas cheer - so much love for all of it! You know what? I think I just realized what I'm "thankful for" today! I am oh so thankful for the joy of Christmas movies!

Holiday Movies? P-u-l-l-e-a-s-e!

I was checking out the showtimes for our date night movie (Fred Claus) just now and got distracted (a shock, I know...me, getting distracted). But let me just share with you what caused me to veer off my intended path...while visiting the theater website, I noticed a headline on the sidebar that said "Holiday Movies 2007: 23 Flicks You Can't Miss". Well now. Holiday movies, huh? Right up my alley. So I clicked on said headline. And what to my wondering eyes should appear? Pretty freaky stuff, I'll tell you that right now. I think perhaps MovieFone and I don't share the shame criteria for what constitutes a Holiday Movie. My idea of Holiday Movie is one that is based around, well...the holidays. MovieFone's only criteria seems to be the time the movie is released. In other words, any movie released in the month of December is apparently called a Holiday Movie, according to MovieFone. Think I'm being judgmental? I don't think so, Scooter. Looky here what the 23 Flicks You Can't Miss are:

Okay, so they started with Fred Claus. Great choice, but a little bit deceiving. Not the movie, but the fact that MovieFone starting off with it. Fred Claus stars Vince Vaughn and it's set in the North Pole. 'Nuff said. I'm going.

Next came a movie called No Country for Old Men, starring Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin. What? What in the heck does this have to do with Christmas? Are they saying Santa has no country because he's old? Uh......... no. Santa doesn't even figure in to this little film. This movie is supposedly an "ultra-bleak, super-violent and darkly funny flick". Gosh, I can almost hear the jingle bells jingling, can't you?

Next was Lions for Lambs. Okay. I get the reference. Oh wait a minute. Maybe not. This is a political movie, starring Robert Redford, Meryl Streep and Tom Cruise. And you know, I just have to say, I don't mind watching political movies as long as they're entertaining (that's generally why I watch a movie...I try not to get my political viewpoints from anybody's script). But I get really rather upset when I hear an actor espousing his views outside the realm of entertainment because, while I don't discount their thoughts and beliefs, I do think they have far too much influence over some people and, since actors are paid to pretend for a living, I find it terribly, terribly alarming to hear them endorsing and/or denouncing anyone or anything that might have control in or over my life. (How's that for a really long sentence?) Basically, what I'm saying is, when I think that Hollywood is making a statement regarding the war or politics or anything else, I get tense. And testy. And downright snarky sometimes. However, having said that, I must also say that regardless of what this movie is about, it does have a pretty talented cast. So maybe I'll see it, maybe I won't. But I still don't know that I'd have it on my list of "Holiday Movies for 2007".

Next came Beowulf. Oh, who doesn't think of Bing Crosby singing White Christmas when they think of Beowulf? Yeah, okay, me neither. This movie about the Norse epic was "filmed" using "Polar Express" style animation. Guess that's the Holiday tie-in, huh? Think I'm gonna have to pass on this one, though. Not really my thing.

Then there was Enchanted, starring Patrick Dempsey (or Dr. McDreamy, to some) and Amy Adams. This movie is being billed as a True-Love-Conquers-All fairy tale. Pre-teen girls everywhere are preparing to swoon right this very minute. Ah heck, who knows, I might be swooning, too. After all, Dempsey is a hottie.

Next, MovieFone listed The Savages. Now that kind of sounds like Christmas with my family, but it has nothing to do with it or them. Instead, it stars Laura Linney as a neurtoc writer whose dad is dying. Okay. Anybody for a rollicking round of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" to liven things up after reading that particular synopsis?

MovieFone's next choice was The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, which is a memoir of a man debilitated by stroke. Okay, altogether now...."later we'll have some pumpkin pie and we'll do some caroling....".

Oh, now here was a good, festive choice. Juno. A story of teen pregnancy. (Dashing thru the snow, in a one horse open sleigh....).

Then they listed The Golden Compass, starring Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman. This movie is based on a fantasy book series and I read somewhere recently that it was stirring up controversy with someone. Don't know the details and don't really care at this point. Always seems like someone is ticked at somebody for something, doesn't it? Although, since it is proving to be controversial and it's not even released yet, I may have to dig a little deeper into it. I'm sure I could work myself up into a frenzy on one side or the other of the argument. Just as soon as I figure out what exactly the argument is, of course.

Next came Atonement, starring Keira Knightley. This is a piece set during World War II and is a story of "love, loss and redemption". Blah, blah, blah. I won't be seeing this one and that probably has more to do with my inability to watch Ms. Knightley without grinding my teeth than anything else.

Oh and here's a cheerful turn...Grace is Gone, starring John Cusack. Now I likes me some John Cusack. Anybody see Grosse Pointe Blank? Great movie. Loved it. But this one....ah, I don't know. It's about a man who has to tell his young daughters that their mother has just been killed in Iraq. I don't think I want to go see a movie this holiday season just to have my guts ripped out. No thank you. But geez...John Cusack. Ummm, ummmm, ummmm. Oh all right. So that was in poor taste considering the subject of the movie. But still....John Cusack!

This next one is sure to be on everyone's holiday favorites list by this time next year. (That was sarcasm for those of you who didn't recognize it). The movie is called I am Legend and stars Will Smith. Again, I likes me some Will Smith, too. But get a load of this synopsis: "A virus decimates mankind leaving one human surviver". Woo-hoo. Good times, eh?

Then came The Kite Runner, a story of 2 Afghani boys. That's it. I got nothing to say about that. I know it's based on a book and I heard the book was good. And....I'm going to move on because anything else I could say would be silly since I have no idea what I'm talking about with this one.

Okay, now here's a goodie...Youth Without Youth, starring Tim Roth. This is a story of a man struck by lightning who then becomes younger, wiser and a fugitive. Yeah, that's what I said. Younger, wiser and a fugitive. (So which part of becoming a fugitive indicates the wisdom part of the equation, huh?) The only redeeming feature I can see so far is that it was directed by Francis Ford Coppola.

Now's one that I will be seeing. Maybe more than once. Okay, probably more than once. I saw the first one at least 4 times in theaters. And I own both the wide-screen and the full-screen versions of the DVD (hey, it's a great movie!). I'm talking about the sequel to National Treasure, of course! This one is called National Treasure: Book of Secrets. I can't wait to see it. Nicolas Cage is back as Ben Gates and I just know Ben would be devastated if I wasn't there in the audience cheering him on. Count me in on this one for sure!

Ah, and then we have Sweeney Todd, starring Johnny Depp. Okay, so Johnny Depp is another hottie but I'm not sure I want to see him in the role of a demon barber from Fleet Street during my holidays. Just doesn't seem to go all that well with the mistletoe and hot cocoa, you know what I mean?

And here's another political movie. This one is called Charlie Wilson's War and stars Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. It's a real life tale of a congressman who helped halt the spread of communism (and inadvertently inciting Islamic extremism at the same time). Great cast, but I don't know. It ain't exactly frosting my pumpkins, you know what I'm saying?

And neither is this one, called The Bucket List. It stars Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman as two "road-tripping cancer patients", whatever that means. Probably going to give this one a miss, too.

Oh geez, make that three in a row...because next is The Great Debaters, starring Denzel Washington. This one is about an African-American 1930's East Texas debate team. I'm sure it's much more exciting than it sounds. (Good gravy, it'd have to be, wouldn't it?). Now don't get me wrong, nobody, and I mean noBODY, can walk into a room quite like Denzel can. But even that great walk isn't enough to get me into a theater seat for this one. No can do. I'm snoozing just thinking about it.

And if I was snoozing with even Denzel in the picture, this one would put me into a coma. It's called Persepolis and is the "animated tale of growing up in Iran". Gee. Hold me back. Sounds like so much fun. Or is that too much fun. Whatever. Won't be checking this one out, either.

This one is sure to be a holiday classic, simply by virtue of it's title: There Will be Blood. It stars Daniel Day Lewis and is an adaptation of Upton Sinclair's novel "Oil". Somebody wake me up, would you? Sounds like another snoozer to me.

Number 22 on their list is Cassandra's Dream and stars Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell as brothers "looking to get ahead". I have no idea what that entails and, while Ewan and Colin are perfectly lovely to gaze upon, this movie doesn't seem like the one for me. Mainly because it's directed by Woody Allen and I am not a fan of the little Woody. Oh, you just take that however you want to because all I'm saying is...I don't like Woody Allen and/or his movies. Period.

But this last one. Well now. Gosh, I will be so hard pressed to not race to the theater now and wait for its December 28th release. It's a little Spanish thriller called The Orphanage. I know, I know. Sounds almost kind of Charles Dickens-ish, huh? But alas...not so much. I think it's basically a horror movie, but hey - it must be something special because it's Spain's entry to the Academy Awards for best foreign film this year and we all know how great those are, right? Right? Yeah, that's about how I feel about them, too.

So anywho...I'm sure there's absolutely no one left reading this by now because it is, indeed, one heck of a long post, but if you are...tell me...do you intend to see any of these "holiday" movies and if so, which ones? And do you think MovieFone should be flogged continually and with a really big cane for misleading my poor Christmas loving heart into believing for that brief, yet glorious moment that there was going to be 23 "holiday" movies out this year? Well, of course you do. Because if they hadn't of misled me, I never would have felt compelled to write this long, boring post about their crazy choices for "holiday" flicks! I suggest you notify MovieFone of your intent to sue them because of all the pain and suffering you've just now incurred. I'll do the same since my fingers are cramped and bleeding from having experienced this terrible need to rant about them in my blog (too much typing can be harmful, you know!). I'll see you in court (and maybe at the movies, depending on what your choices are!) .

The Annual Christmas Decorating Extravaganza Has Begun!

It's that time of year for me! Actually, it's past that time of year for me...I'm behind in my Christmas decorating. I usually start sometime in October, but I worked really hard at not doing that this year. You have no idea what a struggle it was, too! (I've been known to actually have the main tree up around the first of October!) So now I'm feeling rushed. It's only what? 47 days until Christmas? Yeah, something like that. And it takes about a week for me to get everything up so yessir...I am running way behind. Gotta get a move on, that's for sure. Just thought I'd take a minute out and post these pictures. Okay. I admit it. It's a blatant attempt to garner sympathy from you guys. My house is a disaster area, I'm buried under a mountain of plastic containers and there's no one but little ol' me (she says in her best, wispy Southern drawl) to get all this Christmas joy set up. According to my list, I have 43 boxes of Christmas stuff now. And as I've begun unpacking these boxes, I've started to understand why older people don't even put up one single tree anymore. It's a lot of work. And without little kids around to oooooh and aaaaah over everything, what's the point? Don't get me wrong....I still love to see a house fully decked out in Christmas cheer. I'm just starting to wonder if maybe I should settle for spying on the neighbors to get that particular little thrill because decorating my own house has become a bit of a chore.
But...on the bright side...at least my house gets a thorough cleaning at least once a year when I take down all my "real" stuff to create our Christmas look. And if I ever get done with putting all the decorations up this year, I'll post pictures of it. Wish me luck! And if you hear any muffled hollering in the next couple of days...call Randey, who is TDY on the east coast of Florida, and tell him I'm stuck somewhere under all this mess and he needs to get home and rescue me!

P.S. Just kidding. You won't have to call him. He'll be home tomorrow...just in time for date night! And tomorrow night our date is with another fella...don't know if you've heard of him, but his name is Fred Claus and we're meeting up with him at the local movie theater! I'm so excited I could just SCREAM! (I love, love, love a Christmas movie! Here's hoping this one is a good one!)

STOP THE MADNESS!

I really didn't plan on posting today because I'm busy, busy, busy. But...I made the mistake of checking out some "news" stories while I was on a break and look at what I found:

Girl, 13, gets detention for hugging two friends
Illinois middle school bans public displays of affection; parents urge change
updated 8:57 p.m. CT, Tues., Nov. 6, 2007
MASCOUTAH, Ill. - Two hugs equals two days of detention for 13-year-old Megan Coulter. The eighth-grader was punished for violating a school policy banning public displays of affection when she hugged two friends Friday. “I feel it is crazy,” said Megan, who was to serve her second detention Tuesday after classes at Mascoutah Middle School. “I was just giving them a hug goodbye for the weekend,” she said.
Megan’s mother, Melissa Coulter, said the embraces weren’t even real hugs — just an arm around the shoulder and slight squeeze. “It’s hilarious to the point of ridicule,” Coulter said. “I’m still dumbfounded that she’s having to do this.”
District Superintendent Sam McGowen said that he thinks the penalty is fair and that administrators in the school east of St. Louis were following policy in the student handbook. It states: “Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved.”

(Full story at: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21661718/?GT1=10547)

You have got to be kidding me. What's next? Placing muzzles on students who smile at one another too much? Automatic removal of vocal cords for laughing too often? Hermetically sealing kids in body plastic to prevent all human contact? Come on, society! This is positively Orwellian and for those of you who don't know what that means, look it up. I have a feeling we're all going to be way too familiar with that word before too long. And just to clarify...I do understand what the school board was trying to prevent (i.e, kids making out on school grounds, etc.). However, considering the fact that these are the very people who are, in theory, teaching our children things such as...oh, I don't know...the English language maybe...I think they could work a little harder at defining their "Public Display of Affection" policy by employing a more intelligent use of said English language so that they might better delineate the intended meaning of the policy from the broad interpretation so obviously being used by the school officials in this case. (taking a deep breath) This kind of blatant stupidity just TICKS. ME. OFF.

No More Menopause For Me, Peeps

Attention anybody and everybody who bothers reading my posts on Mondays because you like to know just how poorly I'm handling menopause day in and day out! I won't be posting Menopause Madness Mondays anymore. As some of you may already know, I've recently been informed that I am not menopausal. I am depressed. Good to know, huh? I mean, wow, if the doctor hadn't told me I was depressed, I might have mistaken those night sweats and hot flashes for more phantom symptoms of perimenopause and geez, wouldn't want to do that, now would I? So in an effort to get my hypochondria under control and to perk myself up out of my newly diagnosed depression, I will no longer jabber on and on about my faux menopause. Instead, I plan to go sit in a corner and contemplate the many sad little facets of depression that I must learn to deal with...you know...stuff like the heart palpitations, the anxiety, the mood swings, the brittle nails, the tender boobs and of course, those old "depression standards", the aforementioned night sweats and hot flashes. I mean, yeah, sure...I was already dealing with all of those things, but that was when I thought they were the result of the "Big M". Now that I know it's really depression that's got me all twisted up, well now, that's just a whole different ball game, isn't it? I've got to re-think everything, obviously! For example, I simply must learn to stop smiling and laughing every day...because it kind of makes this depression condition seem more like a bi-polar disorder, you know what I mean?

I'm Giving Thanks!

Leah at South Breeze Farm has a wonderful idea for the month of November. I'm participating and I think you might like to do it too. Stop by her blog and get the details.

Cousins, Cupcakes, Old Friends, Great Friends (Who Know Just What You Need), McGuire's Irish Pub and Sweet Baby Conner

Do you ever notice how, as you get older, you only see your extended family members at weddings and funerals? That seems to be what's happening to us. But we (i.e, some of "the cousins") are making plans to change that. These first two pictures are of 2 of my cousins, my sister and me. In the blue shirt is Sunshine (hey - no laughing...she didn't pick that name, her mother did. And actually, it kind of suits her. She's very bright and warm so shut it! lol), Kristie is leaning against the pole, my sister is the one in black and that's me with my head turned. Sunshine and Kristie are sisters. The four of us are in serious talks regarding a "cousin getaway". This getaway is to plan an even bigger get together with even more of our cousins. Maybe. If we can pull it off. Cousins Michael and Wallace have already expressed an interest to participate. I don't know if any other cousins have been contacted or would even be interested at this point. I really hope something good comes of this. We've all missed so much of each other's lives and losing Joey was a wake-up call. I don't want to feel such regret again and I think my cousins and sister feel the same way.
Moving along...see these cupcakes below? Sunshine brought these from Birmingham for me. Now do you see why I want to make sure we maintain a relationship? ha,ha just kidding! But anyway, these cupcakes are from Edgar's Bakery. If you ever hear any hype about Edgar's...believe it because WOW! They were divine. Totally divine. She also brought some cheese straws and a cream cheese danish. But honestly...cupcakes! Who could even think of anything else when there's cupcakes around?
Not only do you meet up with long long family at funerals, you often get to see friends that you haven't seen in ages. See here's the thing about my cousin Joey. I think he lived in the same house his entire childhood...for as long as I can remember anyway. He and his parents and his sister lived in a little neighborhood where just about all the neighbors knew each other. And I spent a few summer's of my own childhood with them. I loved visiting them. I loved that there were so many kids on that street and that so many families would get together for cookouts and such. It was great. I even lived with Joey's family a couple of times after I had Nicholas. (My situation was messed up - we won't get into that right now because it'd take way too much time and space, but suffice it to say I was floundering about as a very young adult and Aunt Ginger and Uncle Mike helped me out tremendously). Anyway, these neighborhood families are still in touch today, over 30 years after meeting one another. Can you believe that? It's astonishing. And heartwarming. And lucky for me because so many of them came to pay their respects to Joey and I was able to see them again. Joyce and Ted. Robin, Timmy and Paige. Cathy and Tommy. Terri. So many wonderful, wonderful people. As I sit here, remembering them, I'm wondering what it is they thought of me all those years ago. I wasn't wild, but you sure couldn't tell it from the outside. I struggled with loneliness, with the embarrassment of teenage pregnancy, with the shame of feeling I wasn't worthy of "nice" guys so I always picked "the wrong" ones...if I had mastered anything in my late teenage years and early twenties, it was the ability to make bad, bad decisions. But what the heck...look at all the experience and wisdom I gained from those mistakes, right? lol Still...I often wondered what these good, kind people thought of me or if they even did think of me through the years. When I saw them again, it was joyful for me. I felt so much joy in the midst of Joey's wake that I started to feel guilty about it! But I don't think Joey would have minded. He was always the life of the party and I think he might actually have been annoyed if he hadn't heard some laughter and seen some smiles at his wake. And these are people that he loves, too. (And before you start measuring me for that straight jacket, I have to tell you that I refer to him in the present tense on purpose - his body may be gone, but his soul and his spirit live on as far as I'm concerned). Anyway, I saw these people, I spoke with them and I felt so...at home. I got some addresses and some e-mails and a phone number or two. It was great to be given another opportunity to connect with them. I wish you all could know them, too. Joyce was even more beautiful than ever, Ted's hair was much shorter than I'd ever seen it (Joyce and I laughed about that - let's just say they enjoyed some big hair back in the day!), Robin and Timmy looked almost exactly the same, although Robin's hair was shorter, too. And Paige. Well, my gosh. Talk about a beauty. She turned out to be...perfect. Is perfect too strong a word? Nah. She's perfect all right. I always loved her when she was a child. She had the smartest mouth you ever heard. Sassy, sassy, sassy. I loved it. I'm told that one of her daughters acts just like her and I can tell you for sure that the other one looks just like her. Cathy and Tommy haven't changed a whole lot either. Cathy always looks so precious...smiling with all her heart. She and Tommy babysat my kids for me when my daughter was a baby. They, and their 4 daughters, were great to us. Terri's grown into such a beautiful woman, too. I'm thinking I should have stayed around the neighborhood - nobody there seems to have aged badly!! But I guess that reasoning doesn't really work since I think they all eventually moved away, too. lol Anyway, I'm grateful that I got to see them and I'm grateful that us cousins are looking to reconnect with each other and I'm grateful that e-mail is around to help us all stay in touch. I'm also grateful for my friend Susan. Susan knows me so well (and yet she still calls me her friend!). She and I have been friends for what? something like 11 years now? Maybe longer, maybe less...who can remember. She is the one I cry in front of when my feelings are hurt or when I'm upset about something or when I'm scared about something. Other than Randey, she probably knows me better than anybody (and sometimes I think she knows me even better!). Now don't get me wrong...my sister knows me well, too. But when you are 2 sisters married to 2 brothers, sometimes you can become too much involved in each other's business and that causes it's own set of problems. So Susan is my nearest and dearest friend in the whole wide world and I swear, I don't get why sometimes. We both say we're "High Maintenance" and that's why we don't branch out more with our IRL friendships. lol



Anyway, Susan lives near where we use to live in the Florida panhandle so when we drove down for Joey's funeral, I was able to see Susan and spend a few short hours with her. And what did she do? She made me some genuine, homemade Red Velvet cupcakes that were out of this world. I don't even want to tell you how many I ate because WOW. It was a lot! But they were so flippin' good. See? That's the definition of a friend. She remembered that I said I loved my Grandma's Red Velvet cake and she made the effort to make it for me. And what an effort. Geez. Hope no one tell's Grandma, but I think Susan's got her recipe down pat because Grandma never made better, I can honestly say that. And then....Susan even made me some tomato gravy! Tomato. Gravy. Yes ma'am. My favorite breakfast food ever. I could have cried when I saw the pan! lol I, personally, don't know how to make tomato gravy (one day, I'll have to tell ya'll about my gravy making issues) and the last time I had any was probably way back in February when my mom came to visit. And I don't even remember when I had it before then. Man, I love that stuff. And my friend Susan made it for me. She's the best, you know it? And she wasn't done yet. Check this out.


Do you know what this is? It's a Peppercorn steak from McGuire's Irish Pub in Destin, Florida. And it is the absolute best steak in the world, bar none. Susan bought our dinner there last Sunday evening. It's my favorite restaurant (I'm a loyal customer, too. I eat there or at the McGuire's in Pensacola whenever I get the chance. Sure wish they'd put one here in Texas. Yummy!). Susan, Terry (Susan's husband), Randey and I all drove down to Destin, but not for McGuire's (I did think of you while down there Kat, but the circumstances of the visit were rather somber, especially coupled with the loss of Joey so I wouldn't have felt comfortable with trying to arrange a visit). We drove there to visit our grandson's gravesite. Our little Conner was laid to rest in Destin in November of 2005. Nick and Jodie always referred to him as their "Superboy" and named him Conner because that's the "real" name of Superboy in the comics. With all that had gone on, I hadn't had a chance to get something to leave at Conner's gravesite before we got there. I felt awful about it and Susan could tell. She suddenly insisted that she had to go to the store right that minute, no ifs, ands or buts. At her insistence, Terry drove us to Target where I found a Superman figure for Conner and Susan got a Batman figure to keep Superman company. Again...that's a true friend. Not only does she understand my need to leave a toy for my grandson who lives in Heaven, she even got him one, too. I know it probably seems a little strange for me to post a picture of my grandson's tombstone on my blog. Maybe it is strange. But I don't much care. This gravesite is all we have now. That and a few pictures of him and some precious, sweet memories. I hope no one is put off by seeing this, but if you are...don't tell me. It would forever change the way I feel about you (hey, nothing like stating my position clearly, right?).
As you can tell, Conner's gotten several Superman figures these last 2 years. His other grandmother made the mailbox so that she and others could leave little notes to Conner (my granddaughter loves this feature) and Jodie painted the lovely flowerpot and left it there during their visit home this past summer. As sorrowful as I feel at the absence of Conner, I feel an even greater joy at his having been born. I know that he's a perfect little soul who didn't have to spend time on earth before he got to be with God. But sometimes, I do miss that baby so.
Wow. Guess I've really run on and on today, huh? You can tell I'm behind in my posting because I seem to want to make up for it all in one day! Sorry about that. I'll try to keep the postings shorter than this in the future. Whew. I'm exhausted. Think I'll go take a nap now.

Special Thanks and Special Deliveries

I'm trying to get all caught up with things...I've got so many blogging friends to thank, so many blogging strangers to say hello to and so many blogs to just go read! The support and friendship shown by you, my blogging friends, during our family's recent loss of Joey was unbelievable. And the kind thoughts and prayers of total strangers that left comments...well, my gosh. I'm touched beyond expression at that. And of course, I've missed reading your blogs and knowing what's going on in your lives. I would like to specifically thank Kat, Tammy, Susie Q, Julie, Cassie, Annie and Pam for mentioning Joey's passing on their own blogs and asking people to share a prayer for our family. If anyone else mentioned it and I didn't say so, please don't take offense. I haven't really had a chance to read everyone's blog since Joey passed away so any omission is unintentional. I would also like to thank all of you who left condolences, on my blog, Aunt Sandi's blog, as well as Joey's website. You are all so kind and so very, very appreciated. Thank you.
Also, I have some gifts to acknowledge. My good friend, Karolee hand knitted this lovely red scarf for me. It's the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen and I'm so happy to have it. Not so happy that I would allow my picture to be taken, however (lol). I'm looking even rougher than normal here lately (and that's saying something, believe you me) so I made Kaleb wear it for the picture. You can tell how happy he was to pose, can't you? I know, I know. The boy has "JOY" written all over his face. But try to tear your eyes away from him for just a second and admire the scarf...beautiful, isn't it? Karolee also sent a lovely gingerbread ornament as well as a box of Breast Cancer Awareness tic-tacs. And for a bonus...her lovely daughter made the card. I had to laugh when I saw the card because Karolee's always talking about how "un-creative" she is (funny coming from the woman who could probably knit an entire wardrobe for an entire family before breakfast every single morning!). I was going to send her an e-mail, asking about this pretty card when she beat me to it by telling me that her daughter had made it. I hope she remembered to tell her daughter just exactly how impressed I was with it! And Karolee, thank you again for the scarf. It's been too warm to wear it so far, but I've kept it handy so that I may touch it whenever I walk by. It's softness and warmth have reminded me of what great friends I have, thanks to blogging. Your gift, your work, your kindness have most certainly left their mark on me.
Next, I received this package from Sophie yesterday. The timing of this package could not have been better. I was having a sort of "down" moment when I heard the mailman honking his horn, indicating that I had a package from someone. I couldn't believe my eyes when I opened it. A Nutcracker! Sophie has a wonderful memory. She remembered that I had a bit of a Nutcracker collection that I put on my mantle during Christmas - I'd posted a picture of them way back in the middle of summer. And this little guy is going to be the "jewel" in my collection because he's from such a special friend. I smile everytime I see him (he's already sitting with the pumpkins that have been lining my mantle since September). And did I mention he also played music? Isn't that great? Oh and she also sent a box of Yorkshire tea (simply wonderful, by the way) as well as some Marmite (that I haven't been brave enough to try yet! lol) and a box of OXO Beef (and just as soon as I figure out what to do with that, I'll do it!). Thank you, Sophie. You are simply the best! I'm thrilled silly that you thought enough of me to send these things and again, the timing couldn't have been better.

And finally, I wanted to show you the cool Halloween things I had won for Pea's Birthday. Yeah, I said that right. Pea gave away gifts on her birthday. What a nut! But I'm pretty darn happy she's such a nut because look what I got...this sweet little pumpkin box, a Halloween cone, some pumpkin napkins and a card! I actually received this a week or so ago (time is sort of running together for me, sorry), but didn't get a chance to post about them before I left. So sorry I'm late with this big thank you, Pea, but please know how much I love these things. They made our home even more festive for Halloween.

Okay. I think that's about it for today. I can't wait to catch up on what ya'll have been up to lately. I apologize for not visiting and not leaving comments...especially after ya'll have been so kind to me and my family. Please know that I am very thankful for each and every one of you, though. You guys are THE GREATEST!

Hope You Have a Spooktacular Halloween

Our little family had a quick pumpkin carving extravaganza yesterday. Well. Maybe not such an extravaganza, per se, but we did go into a little carving frenzy. Randey did the ghost pumpkin on the left, Jacob did the vampire preparing to bite the woman's neck, I did the witch and Kaleb did the skull face. I've come to the conclusion that I don't really care for carving pumpkins. It wasn't as fun as I'd envisioned. Randey and the boys, however, loved doing it. So what's that mean? It means they're totally and completely in charge of any and all future pumpkin carving for this particular branch of the family tree. Sorry guys, but count me out! This one below is the pumpkin Kaleb carved a couple of weeks ago, as practice. Jacob did one too, but his sort of fell apart. Mainly because he cut where he shouldn't have. You know, to tell the truth, I don't think pumpkin carving is really Jake's forte' either. His first one fell apart and his second one...well, look closely at the picture above. He actually carved the pattern sideways...that's why his pumpkin is laying on its side. Funny, huh?
I had meant to post some of these next pictures a few at a time in the week leading up to Halloween, but circumstances prevented me from doing that. This is Desiree' dressed as a bride. A pretty unhappy bride, judging by the look on her face. Jake and Kaleb were dressed as a pair of dice. This is probably my favorite costume of theirs. They were so flippin' cute.

This is Nick and Des back in 1987. Nick was such a good big brother when Des was born. So sweet. He was obviously dressed as a convict and Des was dressed as a ghost. She didn't like that costume, either.
Here's Des as some sort of witch. Strange. She seemed to love that costume. The boys were ninjas and they really thought they were cool.
Okay so this was not a banner year for costumes. We sort of went with what we had for the boys. They were still pretty darn cute, though.

Here's Des dressed as a cheerleader. She was so adorable that year. You've never seen a kid happier with their costume than she was with that one. The boys were indians and they so loved their feather headdresses.
Here's Des dressed as a giant baby. I think she was in 6th or 7th grade that year and, if I remember correctly, she was going to a Halloween party at a friend's house. Jacob was a bloody waiter (a costume he truly thought was fantastic) and Kaleb was a bloodied Nascar driver.
This is Des with one of the Hutchinson girls back in 1988. The Hutchinson's lived down the road from Aunt Ginger and Uncle Mike and they babysat Des and Nick quite a bit. Great people. This is Kaleb as a mummy. Not my greatest idea for a costume, I must admit. I think I should have thought a little more about how to keep the wrapping on because the more Kaleb walked, the more his wrapping trailed behind him. Good thing he was wearing something under all that stuff, I'll tell you that. He might've had to "streak" home otherwise.
And finally, here's Jacob as Quasimodo, the Hunchback. He was such a cutie that night, too. Heck, what am I saying? I seem to think all my kids were cute every Halloween! lol

I hope all of you have a fun and safe Halloween. We'll be sitting on our front walkway this evening, passing out the candy and sipping hot cocoa...pretending we're shivering from fright and cold. (Which may be a stretch since it's supposed to get all the way up to 81 today!). Happy Halloween All!

It's done...

Life in his earthly body as well as the ceremony of burial, are over for Joey. The wake, the funeral, the interment…all done with. Now, for Karen and the kids, begins the time of “the firsts”. You know what I mean… the first Halloween without him, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, the first New Years…so many firsts to get through. My heart breaks for Joey’s young family. I know they’ll be okay, really I do know it. But there will be many, many hard moments ahead and there’s nothing any of us, least of all me, can do to help them get past those. My memories of Joey and Karen’s memories of Joey are completely different and separate. She knows Joey as a man. Almost all of my memories are of Joey as a boy. As I’ve said before, our family kind of went their separate ways. This happened just about the time Joey became a man. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him in almost two decades. I saw him at Grandma’s funeral back in 1998 and I saw him last year when I was visiting his mom (my Aunt Ginger). Joey, Karen and the boys came over to Aunt Ginger’s and we sat around on the porch for awhile then went to dinner. That night was a lot of fun for me (although I seem to remember that I drank one too many margaritas. I also seem to recall that Joey, who had a drink or two himself, was encouraging my liquor consumption – he always was a funny guy. Worse than that, he always was a funny guy who didn’t mind watching his cousin make an ass out of herself – which I have a tendency to do with those darn margaritas in my system). Anyway, I can’t even share with Karen moments of “remember when?” about Joey because she and I don’t have the same memories of Joey. I wasn’t around the last 18 years of Joey’s life. I moved away and, the family situation being what it was, I opted not to pursue relationships with my family members. I think Joey may have done the same thing. Actually, I think just about all of us stopped being family because it became too damn complicated. And because we stopped being involved in each other’s lives, I missed out on Joey’s family, his children, his wife…I missed it all. I’m somewhat shocked at the depth of my grief now. I feel like a fraud for shedding tears. I have no right to be this sad over Joey’s passing. I didn’t keep up with him in life, how dare I mourn him this fervently in death. I guess my grief is magnified by knowing how much time I wasted, how many moments I let slip away, how little effort I put into loving my family. That guilt, that shame, that melancholy is a terrible thing to bear, let me tell you. I’m sorry beyond words that I wasn’t a part of Joey’s adult life. There was always going to be time, or so I thought. But let’s face it. We aren’t born with an expiration date stamped on our butts. You just don’t know when your time, or that of your loved one, is up. So, unless you just like living with regret, I say you should make the most of the time you have NOW. It may be the only time you’ll get.