Mixed Messages

I've discovered that the world is full of mixed messages. I'm even sending some myself. Like this: Happy Easter! Or is that Happy St. Paddy's Day?! I can't seem to get it straight! These two holidays aren't supposed to be so close together. It's causing me great angst. What if I get confused and find myself digging up the Easter lilies in search of Shamrocks? Or worse (much, much worse!) drinking green beer while coloring eggs. Can you imagine how that would turn out? Well....actually, probably pretty cool, come to think of it. I mean geez! What can go wrong with green beer involved (besides the local pastor finding me hip deep in the flower bed with Easter lilies strewn all around, full to the gills with the green brew and shouting "How come no one's ever after my lucky charms!)?? Yeeeeaaaahhhhh. Never mind. But you see what I mean, right? It's always dangerous to send those mixed messages. Even the local stores are starting to do it. Check this out:

Yo, Ross! If you think it's such a great idea for us to "dress less", why do you sell so many freakin' clothes? Me thinks Ross should either invest in some more light bulbs or go all out and open a nudist colony with this sort of message being sent! (I'm voting for the light bulbs, myself).

Here's one message that is not mixed at all, however. I want to give a shout out to Emily, who is Jennifer's daughter. She sent me the sweetest little message the other day and I want her to know how much I appreciate it! What a sweetie. Jennifer's told me a little bit about her and all I can say is, it's probably best that we live so far apart. I get the feeling Miss Emily is my kind of kid which means I would probably be a horrible influence over her. I have a truly shameful habit of teaching kids the fine art of sarcasm and mischief. I know, I know. It's wrong. Funny. But wrong. I'm kidding, Jennifer! No way would I try to corrupt your sweet daughter (wink, wink Emily). Oh wow. I can't seem to help myself. I just sent a mixed message without even meaning to! Seriously, though...thanks for the message, Emily! I loved receiving it!!

Now I'm off to see what other mixed messages are awaiting me. I'm headed to the mall this afternoon with my husband, my boys and one of my boys' girlfriend. Ah, the mall. Now that's a place that just screams "mixed messages". Like all those mannequins, posed in bizarre ways, sporting cute little clothes that somehow manage to convey to even the biggest of us women that we, too, could look simply smashing in that hip, streamlined outfit. (That's usually not just a mixed message, it's a downright lie!). But I'm in the mood to be lied to so off I go! Wish me luck!